Safe
by HidingLight
Summary: When an enemy from Gibbs' past seeks vengeance by going after his team, they split up to find safety. As the emotional toll is taken, Gibbs and Tony turn to each other for comfort. Slash, M-Rated in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

_This is the first chapter of one of those stories from my pre-posting days that I've been dying to clean up and post :) It's angsty, kinda dark at points, set in early-middle season nine, and is taken from Tony's POV. I'd love it if you let me know what you think! _

Chapter One: Gibbs' House

It had been one of those weeks. You know, the type where you want to bury yourself in the bottom of not only one, but two bottles of liquor, or a whole twelve pack of beer. The type of week where you just want to crawl into bed and cry even though you're a rapidly approaching middle aged man that has faced multiple terrorists and murders. The type of week that even a bad country song couldn't sum up. I would have traded that week with one where someone's wife met their girlfriend, had their vandalized truck stolen and lost their dog in a heartbeat.

Come to think of it, maybe it was because it wasn't just one week. It was two weeks, back to back, with no break, not a single night home, and it wasn't over. We may all have been back together, but someone still wanted us dead, and with the natural bad luck our team had following us around, we were far from safe.

Ziva had been taken first. Of course it had to be Ziva. When will these guys learn? The woman is ex-Mossad! She's more ass-kicking, crime fighting power than anyone could ever expect in something so small! And I've never been so grateful. So we tracked her down, or at least we were trying to.

You know how with some people, you know better than to take them into certain situations because they are just the perfect "obvious target"? That's McGee to the possible kidnapping situation. I mean, going into this mess, the Boss gave me a look that said, "_Whoa, bad idea.",_ but of course, we had no choice, did we? We knew we were pretty much setting McGee up as bait. Thing is, so did he, and he didn't care. I guess family is family from all sides.

Before we could even _think_ we had lost McGee, we had. They had been waiting, knowing we would come. Gibbs and I were leading our own individual teams. Gibbs put McGee on the last team with Balboa. He gave him some lame excuse as to why, saying that he needed to be the one to monitor some techie doodads, and that by being part of the last team, he could monitor as long as possible or some crap. He knew he couldn't _not_ let McGee in on it, after all; we're talking about Ziva here.

When they got away with both of our agents though, Gibbs went ballistic. We knew we couldn't rely on anyone else. It was he and I, with Abby on the tech front, that brought them home.

Thankfully, McGee had realized what we had. I think deep down inside, all three of us knew that he would be taken and he prepared for it, packing first aid and rations on his person. Thank God the kid was a Boy Scout, because he needed the prep. They had done a pretty bad number on Ziva. It didn't compare to what Gibbs did to them though. Gotta say, I knew better than to ever piss off the Boss, but it's got me thinking he was more than just a sniper... kinda love him for it. That's one dark secret that will be safe with me forever.

Now, we were back together, the unlikely family, and we were staying that way. We had everyone under lockdown in the safest place possible- Gibbs' house. Everyone- Abby, Palmer, Ducky and the four of us. These guys apparently had a plan, and when I say these guys, I mean the ones controlling the puppet-strings of the puppets Gibbs tor- errr, took care of.

One by one we were to be picked off and tortured until finally they had Gibbs, and then we were all going to be killed while he watched before they took care of him. Sick bastards with money made the worst criminals. I never found out why they hated Gibbs so much, though he did say something about his "technique" being a message to them. Guess retaliation is the name of the game, and the fact that Gibbs has all of us here, in his house right now, means that the game is still being played.

Two agents were at each door, one on each wall of the house... hell, we even have a sniper set up on the second floor of the old Madison house across the street that is up for sale. Hope no one was planning on showing it tomorrow. Guess I should've checked on that. Oh well.

We were pretty quiet. This wasn't the way I would have liked for us to be getting together. There was a part of me that hoped that one day, when this was all over, we could do this again under pleasant circumstances. I really hoped so at least. Maybe for Christmas. Nah, everyone always had better things to do besides Gibbs and I. Maybe New Year's or Thanksgiving. I'll have to talk to the Boss about it.

Ducky and Ziva were in the kitchen sitting at the table drinking tea. There was comfort in mutual silence there, as the questions and the unraveling of the past few weeks were still continuing. McGee and Palmer were playing cards in the guest bedroom. McGee's nerves were surprisingly steady despite everything. I always found myself impressed by his ability to bounce back after the harder parts of this job. Then again, I guess I should be more impressed that he didn't find himself in those kinds of situations as often as I'd expect.

Palmer was enough nerves for both of them. Breena had been taken into a safe house in Los Angeles by the NCIS team out there. She was at a conference, and she was told that we were all fine, but she couldn't under any circumstance contact any of us. Palmer had been told the same thing. It didn't sit well with him to say the least. I'm glad the man is growing a pair, but I'm even more glad that Ducky is his boss and not Gibbs.

That left us.

Abby, Gibbs and I were sitting in front of the fire against the coffee table. Abby had her head on Gibbs' shoulder, and I had my arm around the back of Abby, and occasionally Gibbs would look up from the fire to see my expression. Sometimes I met his gaze, sometimes I stared into the flames. I imagined having that fire lit as sending smoke signals to the bastards that were after us; a signal that said, "Bring It."

Gibbs and I were on high alert, neither able to sleep. We knew it was coming. They would inevitably try, and we would inevitably be sticking Ducky, Abby, and Palmer into the hollow spot in the wall. They didn't know that yet, but then again, Gibbs had had that panel in there forever and just told _me_ about it tonight. If I didn't know, it was unlikely anyone else knew.

Abby fell asleep against Gibbs. We still didn't speak. Abby was the type of person that could wake up without making a move, and pretend to sleep with the best of them. Any discussion we could have at the moment wouldn't be fit for her ears. It was okay though. A couple of looks and shakes of the head said it all. After over ten years, the man and I could easily read each other's minds.

What scared me to the core though was _that _look- the one that said, "I'm sorry." He may not have said the words, but he apologized, and that broken rule once again came into play, and it once again got me in the gut. I just shook my head "no" with the best look of understanding I could conjure. This wasn't his fault. He was doing everything in his power to protect us. He didn't need to apologize, it was just the opposite. We finally broke eye contact with each other and turned back to the fire.

Ducky came in and sat down in the armchair, and ZIva came in to lay on the couch. She was battered pretty badly. Bruises and cuts and stitches covered her body. I knew it was senseless to ask her if she would accept being put in the wall too. She would fight until she died. They both fell asleep pretty quickly behind us.

I tapped Gibbs on the shoulder and nodded for him to reach for the blanket off the back of the chair to wrap around Abby. He moved her so she leaned on my shoulder instead and got the blanket. Abby stirred for a second and then as she was covered over, snuggled against me. I put my arm around her and kissing the top of her head, held her tightly. Gibbs tried to give us a half smile, and stood up. He stretched, then walking over my legs, put his hand on my head and ruffled my hair. It was such a tender, un-Gibbs thing to do that I couldn't help but smile. Any affection from the man, even in a moment like this was welcome.

A few minutes later I smelled fresh coffee brewing. I heard the soft thunk of two mugs being sat on the counter, and then heard a spoon and three clinks. I smiled to myself again. Gibbs was putting sugar in one of the mugs for me. Then the fridge opened and light cascaded into the room for a few seconds as he added creamer, which I knew for a fact he only kept in the house for my coffee and Ducky's tea. I made sure to check the expiration date every time I came over, just to be sure.

Sure enough, a couple of minutes later, Gibbs was standing next to me, handing me a mug which I gladly took with my free hand. He sat next to me this time instead of on the other side of Abby. He whispered closely in my ear, which sent shivers through my entire body, and I prayed double time he didn't catch on to.

"The guard changes in an hour and a half. Ready?"

I closed my eyes a moment and swallowed deeply, then turned to look back into his own worried eyes with a slight nod. It was during guard change that we had to be the most careful. Half of the guards would be replaced at 0100. At 0500, the other half would be exchanged out. There would be another rotation at 0900 and every four hours half of them would be replaced back and forth while Balboa's team, with the help of Fornell's Feebs would be working to track down the SOBs that were hell bent on crushing us.

Gibbs opened my laptop and logged into his email. For a man who tried to pretend to be so anti-technology, when no one was paying attention, could maneuver his way around a computer. I've never said anything to him about it. I know he hates it, and I know he only uses one when he really has to. Yet another one of his secrets that were safe with me. I looked over my shoulder at him to find that he was writing to Fornell.

It surprised me once to think that Gibbs trusted Fornell more than Balboa. Then I learned about their mutual ex-wife, and it all kinda made sense. Now, I know a lot more and it makes perfect sense. Trust was rare. Neither of the two could ever really stab each other in the back. They are too blunt and honest with one another. They may not have quite the connection _we_ do, but it's still something special.

I cleared my throat just a hair, and he looked at me. I nodded to the email. He nodded back and I began to read in earnest. He was telling him what he knew he couldn't say officially, and even then, it was the kind of read between the lines speak that only Gibbs' closer friends could understand. Luckily, I was one of those people.

Basically, Gibbs had been tasked with getting info out of someone about stolen components for biological weaponization in Dessert Storm. He was only officially supposed to disrupt the chain of delivery, but people were playing for both teams and a mole had to be flushed out.

It was.

That was the unofficial part, where Gibbs' darker "expertise" came in handy. I definitely had some questions for him, and I knew that if I ever expected answers, I would have to wait a long time for them, so I sat silently to bide my time.

He looked up at me before he sent the email to see if I had read it all, and gotten what he wasn't saying. I met his eyes and nodded firmly. We were in for it. The people they would send to try to get past the guards would only be the henchmen. The real problem was still out there somewhere, and one day, we would have to take the fight to them. I just hope I got a good night's sleep before that happened.

Forty-five minutes later, the first change of the guard would happen. Gibbs brought me the throw pillows that Ziva had ditched next to the couch, and we gently laid Abby down on them in front of the fire. He motioned for me to follow him upstairs and into his room. It was another one of those situations that I wished were happening under different circumstances.

Despite the seclusion he still whispered, although thankfully, he now stood in front of me and not close to my ear. "In half an hour, I'm going to wake Tim up. I want you in the living room, I'll be in the kitchen, and Tim will be watching from the upstairs window. I'm going to put Abby in here, and try to get Ziva to crash with her. Ducky and Palmer go in the guest room. We need to move them without changing any lighting and with as little noise as possible. I'll show Tim the panel in the bathroom wall and pray that we don't need to use it." I nodded and saw how he saw this playing out. Nothing about this sounded good. I needed to know more. I wanted to know why he thought that enough people would be sent on the task to get past the almost dozen people that we had covering the house.

"What do I need to know Gibbs?" I asked as firmly as I could with a whisper, while keeping stern eye contact. He knew exactly what I was saying and for just a second, I could see the guilt back in his eyes.

"Dangerous people, even for us, with deep enough pockets that anything is possible." That said a lot. It said bribes could be made, heavy weapons could be purchased, the amount of people or the skill of people could both be high and we could expect the unexpected. We had no idea what we were up against and who they had on their payroll. With that thought, my brows went up and looked at the door.

I wanted to just run. Just take my entire team, and run. That's what I did best when the worst came knocking. I used to run away from the uncomfortable feeling I had in my gut that said where I was in life was not where I was meant to be. These people had shown me that it wasn't a _where,_ it was a _with whom,_ that made my life fulfilling. Now that the chance was so imminent that I could be losing one or all of them, I wanted to move us into an underground bunker somewhere, or buy them all Rasta wigs and go hide in the slums of Jamaica.

I wanted this over. My nerves were shot. I had caught myself in the mirror for a minute earlier in the head, and I didn't recognize myself. The dark circles under my eyes were like nothing I had ever gotten partying, or even from normal cases. I looked like I had aged years these past two weeks. I needed a haircut too. I was planning on getting one the weekend before Ziva was taken, so my appointment had to be cancelled. Then I didn't make it to my next one. I was starting to look shaggy in a bad way. At least I was clean finally.

I shook my head and wrapped my arms around myself involuntarily to fight back a sudden twinge in my gut. I looked back at Gibbs to see how he was doing with it all, and found him staring at me with genuine worry and concern. It alarmed me.

"You okay Tony?" he whispered. I tried to smile and failed.

"Yeah. I just need more coffee." I turned to walk away and felt a hand on my arm. I turned back to him, surprised.

"Tony? You know we're going to be okay, right?" I just shook my head no. We weren't. I knew it. I felt it. He did too. This was going to keep us on edge for months, even if we all managed to live through this. Someone would lose their life between now and the end. It might not be one of our team, but at least one of the agents surrounding the house would go down in the attempt to get at us. I had no fairytale dream that we would end up unscathed by this. I especially believed somewhere deep inside that it was very likely that either Gibbs or I would be seriously harmed, if not killed, if not both of us protecting our family.

He saw my gears turning in my head, and knew that I was right. "Gibbs, nothing about this is okay." His eyes closed suddenly, his face contorted with guilt. He felt responsible. I didn't want him to feel that way. "Nor is it your fault, Jethro." I added softly. His eyes stayed closed, and he shook his head. All of his features fell, and for that short spell, Leroy Jethro Gibbs looked vulnerable.

I don't know where in the hell I plucked the balls from, but I stepped forward and put my arms around him. I was expecting him to kill me right then and there, but instead he embraced me back. It wasn't one of those pat on the back, half man hugs. It was a real, arms wrapped around each other for dear life, kind of hold. I rested my chin on his shoulder and pulled him tight.

I wouldn't call it romantic, but it was intimate. How often did Gibbs let anyone close? Hell, how often did _I_ let anyone that close? The gravity of the situation really hit home then, but somehow, I suddenly felt hopeful. I knew that if anyone could pull a group of people through this, it would be he and I, together. We weren't doing this individually. We would keep our team as safe as possible.

A couple of long minutes went by and we finally disengaged ourselves. There was no awkward pause afterwards or any discussion. All he said was, "Let's get some more coffee in us," and with a nod we headed for the door. It was acknowledgement in and of itself that we embraced; anything beyond that was just words.

We headed quietly down the steps and into the kitchen. Gibbs poured the rest of the pot into our mugs, and put a fresh pot on. Gibbs drank his straight down, while I put in enough cream to cool mine and do the same. Five minutes after leaving the bedroom, we were waking people up with whispers and room assignments. Abby looked between us with wild eyed concern. "Why?" she asked frantic.

"Just so you guys can get some real sleep somewhere safe." Gibbs said gently.

"Abs, if anything were to start happening down here, you guys would have enough time to wake up a little if you were upstairs and had to think fast. You'll have Tim and Ziva with you up there. Gibbs and I are going to crash down here. Just strategy, that's all. Nothing is happening." I said, trying to calm her. She followed my thought process and nodded. Gibbs gave me a smile over her head. I tried to smile a little, but not too much. Faking it would give away our concern. She let Ziva lead her and Ducky was behind them.

Gibbs looked from the clock, to the doors, and then right into my eyes. I was going to be left alone for a minute while he ran things by with Tim and Ziva upstairs. I nodded and pulled my gun from my back waistband, moving to stand in the kitchen doorway where I could view all exits and windows. Gibbs took off for the second floor, taking two steps at a time. He was back in only two minutes. The plan was simple, and McGee was alert enough to be able to handle it.

I put a kitchen chair in the living room against the wall where I would have the best vantage point of anyone trying to get in from the basement, front door or garage. Gibbs had a similar view, only from the kitchen door, basement and garage. We looked at each other from time to time, companionable silence between us. I felt charged, like the air before a big summer storm. The guard was changing as we sat there. We could hear the agents shuffling outside and voices updating one another over walkies. Gibbs phone rang and he answered it, never taking his eyes off of the kitchen door. I stared straight at the front door, hand on my gun, ready to raise it like the hairs on the back of my neck.

"Gibbs." he said shortly. "Yeah. Okay. Thanks."

His phone shut and my mouth opened. "What's the word, Boss?" I said, barely a question to my tone.

"Tarim's dead. Died a month ago. It's his son, Abdullah Tarim that is leading this game. He's the brother." He didn't have to tell me the brother of whom. I pretty much gotten that it's the brother of the man that Gibbs had... taken care of… back in the day. One day I would have to ask him how he knew _exactly_ who it was. What one thing he had done that set him apart. Today wasn't the day. I didn't want to know what was in store for me if I was caught. I had a feeling that it would be better for me to put my gun in my mouth if I was given the chance, rather than have any of _that_ happen to me.

"Brother is a little crazy. I take it Daddy wasn't so... obvious… with his evil plots?" I asked with bitter sarcasm, but didn't break eye contact with the front of the house I was scanning.

"Mmmhm." Gibbs said.

"Well, in a way, that's good right? Because that means his passion is driving this, which will make it more likely he'll slip up." I tried to sound hopeful and confident, but there was too much question in there.

"He's had twenty some odd years of military training to perfect his passion, Tony. I wouldn't count on that for a second. Don't think it." Gibbs said it sadly and clipped. I felt the knot tighten a little more in my stomach, and my focus retrained threefold on the windows and doors of the house. I almost wished that something would happen so that I could stop feeling so on edge. A nice adrenaline burst would be refreshing right about now.

"You know, we will probably be staying up all night tonight for nothing. Making us squirm is this guy's specialty." I said more to myself than to Gibbs. I heard his grunt though and grunted back. "Yeah... after that I would probably move on us too." I said again more to myself, thinking about Gibbs' "message".

We sat there through the next couple of hours, Gibbs occasionally bringing me fresh cups of coffee since he was on kitchen watch. I was not only exhausted, but wired. I started rambling about favorite movies. I was in the middle of a thorough retelling of the best scenes from Taken when he brought me another cup of coffee. "Ya know Boss, I might need to go to decaf. My rambling is probably going to get me killed by _you_ before Tarim Jr. has a chance." I made myself smile at the man and noted that he smiled back.

"Tony, I cut you some slack _one time_, and you manage to draw attention to yourself!" he shook his head at me. I could see the truth though, and called him on it.

"You mean you're letting me ramble so you don't drive yourself crazy thinking." I said seriously, the smile gone, but my face as open as I could make it. He smirked and turned back to his chair. I don't know when it had happened, but I could read him like a book. I looked back at the front door, drinking the coffee he had made perfectly for me again. I couldn't remember when he had learned to do that, either, but it was nice.

I started thinking about all of the things we just _knew_ about each other after all this time. Coffee, what each other was thinking, which direction we ran when the shots started ringing out, where the secret hide outs were, what not to say, what _to_ say, when to say or not to say it. There were those other things though, that made me wonder if it could ever be more that what it was.

He knew just what kinds of clothes I wore when I needed comforting or when I felt even the slightest under the weather. It wasn't anything specific. I just dialed down a little bit, but before I could even put my bag down at work he was asking me if I felt okay. I would always ask why, and he would say I looked different. I hadn't looked super casual, just not as razor sharp as usual.

And there were those nights I ended up in the office at one in the morning because I was wide awake and decided to do paperwork. Half of the time, he would show up on the same nights, and bring an extra cup of coffee with him for me. Don't know how he knew. I asked once and he said I was too tense earlier to get any real work done. I didn't realize it had shown, but I was glad for the company, even if silent.

Those kinds of nights always earned me the most genuine time with him at work. We were closer to equals then. He could openly respect me without appearing to have favorites, and he did.

Then there was the saltwater taffy. I found it in my desk drawer every year on the anniversary of the day we met in Baltimore. I don't know how he knew about the taffy, but for ten years now, on March 30th, there it was. It was kind of sweet, but we never really acknowledged it.

Once it hit me the first year what day it was, I brought everyone in our corner of the bullpen coffee after lunch. Couldn't do it for just him back then, but I buy our team coffee every year at lunch, and if we're on a case, I make sure that somehow, Gibbs gets a fresh cup. One year, I don't have any idea how he managed it, but the taffy was in my backpack at the end of the day. I had remembered the date earlier in the day and thought he had forgotten because of the case. I even made sure we all had our coffee. When I saw the taffy, I lit up. I don't know if he knew I saw him smile out of the corner of his eye, but he did.

There's a big difference though between coffee on our weird little anniversary and coffee tonight. I allowed myself the memories. It might be the last time I get to have them after all. I felt eyes on me and for a brief second tensed hard, then I realized it was Gibbs. I looked back with a question. He pointed to his watch. It was just a few minutes before 0500. I nodded and we began listening to all of the shuffling outside. There were agents replacing agents and again, Gibbs phone rang.

"Gibbs." There was a minute or two where the other side talked. Gibbs stood up, leaving his phone open on the counter, and moved into the kitchen further. I stood up and arranged my position to be able to take in both rooms.

Gibbs was moving towards the back porch when a shot was fired somewhere beyond the door in the back yard. Four more shots came from multiple directions. I could hear the shuffling upstairs as the wall began being filled with rushing feet, and while McGee and Ziva's voices were heard, I couldn't make out what was being said. I stood my position, watching for where I would be needed most. Gibbs moved to the back door, but didn't open it. I was against the wall waiting to see which door would open.

The front window broke, and a smoke can filled the room. My hanky was out of my pocket and over my mouth as fast as I could. I moved towards the bottom of the steps, watching as the front door opened. I heard noise at the back door as well, and then the next minute was a blur.

Strangers were in Gibbs' house, and I was shooting. There was also shooting in the kitchen and another shot rang out from across the street, killing the man that was trying to enter the front door, making him fall forward into the house. I had put three bullets in the man that entered first through the smoke. A split second later, later Ziva was at the top of the stairs, weapon drawn, moving slowly down.

Gibbs came out of the kitchen and into the living room. Three agents entered behind him. Two more entered through the front door. Ziva and my weapons were trained on the agents until Gibbs gave us the okay to lower them. They were all agents we knew enough to trust. (Not that I could _really_ ever trust anyone outside of our team after my history, but they were trustworthy enough for now.)

I looked at Gibbs and he looked at me. The news wasn't good. "Who did we lose Gibbs?" I asked.

"Samuels and McKinsley."

I turned around and slammed my hand into his wall, putting a slight dent there. He wouldn't be mad. I'm sure he felt like doing the same. "Damn it!" I had just talked to McKinsley the other night at the bar. He was a decent guy. No kids, but a wife he adored. And Samuels, though a bit of a skeeze was dedicated to the job. I felt the rage bubbling over inside, and was so on edge that I knew I wouldn't be able to hold it back for long.

Ziva had her head still though despite everything. "How many came?" she asked. One of the agents next to Gibbs looked up at her. He looked to be a little in shock himself. "Eight. There were eight."

They had sent eight people after what they thought would be eight people. Thank God Breena was in Cali. Tim came to the top of the stairs. "Hey Boss, is the coast clear?"

Ziva and I looked back to Gibbs. "Yeah, Tim. Get everyone down here."

It took a bit, but a very shaken up Abby, a very nervous Palmer and Ducky, made their way down the steps. Tim followed them. Ziva, looking exhausted, was already on the couch. Abby threw her arms around me at the bottom of the steps, and I held her tightly. "Oh, God Tony!"

"It's going to be okay, Abby. It's going to be okay." She was shaking and I felt my heart break.

"Did we lose anyone?" she asked.

"Yeah Abs. Samuels and McKinsley." I held her tighter. I felt the sob as she broke and began rubbing her back.

"But we just saw Justin at the pub! He can't be gone!" she said between tears. Gibbs had moved over to her and began patting her head and rubbing her back. Suddenly it was like, what the hell, and he went to wrap her in a hug from behind, which meant he ended up hugging me too, making an Abby sandwich. I have to tell you, it felt good to be back in that close proximity to him. I felt my nerves settle a little, and I suddenly wanted nothing more than to snuggle up close to him and cry, just let it all out, be held like that and find some peace.

Another agent's phone rang and then another. They all started answering phones and placing calls after rapid conversations. Things were suddenly buzzing. "What's going on?" I heard one say to another. "Fornell's team has their recon van surrounded. They suspect two men inside based on thermal satellite scans." A couple of the agents were dispatched to move to that scene, and the rest re-established posts around the house.

I couldn't help but think of Kate for a moment. The way she set up a protection detail was matched with authority to Gibbs'. She was strict and specific. That's what the agents sounded like. I missed her suddenly with such an ache that I leaned into the hug even more and squeezed my eyes shut. I knew I was going to unravel eventually, but I couldn't let right now be the time. I finally opened my eyes and looked at Gibbs, whose eyes were also closed as he lay his head on top of Abby's.

We were both exhausted. We needed some time to regroup. I took a deep breath. "Boss? I think we should get out of town for a while." I said loud enough for everyone to hear. Gibbs looked at me with a strange look.

"I mean together. We should all get out of town together. Breathe for a couple of days. Sleep. Regroup. Then finish this. We can't keep going like this here." Abby pulled out of our embrace and I know Gibbs looked as sad as I did when we lost contact with each other. It took a lot not to think about it though. More important things had to be dealt with first.

"No offense, but I think I need some time without all of you." McGee spoke up. "Maybe we should split up for a couple of days."

"No way Timmy!" Abby said. "I don't want..." her voice cracked and she fell back against me again.

McGee looked at her with sad eyes. "We don't have to all separate Abs. Maybe just split into two groups. Make it harder to track us."

I looked at Gibbs and realized that he hadn't stopped staring at me. "Did you have a plan, DiNozzo?" he asked, sounding suddenly as exhausted as he looked.

"I dream of Jamaica, but I doubt that's going to happen anytime soon. Maybe just a cabin some place close, but far enough out to be hidden."

"Hey, there's that cluster of cabins at the Twin Lakes park in Virginia. There's like 4 small cabins on almost a street in the middle of the park. We could rent them all out, and have all the privacy we need. Just a few days to recoup, and then be back here. It's probably a four hour drive tops." McGee said enthusiastically. Gibbs looked at Abby whose mascara was all over the place. He looked across the room at his two black and blue agents who were all but rumpled on the couch and Ducky whose hand was resting on Palmers back as the man shook with his head between his knees.

"Palmer?" he asked. Jimmy looked up. "Get my phone off the counter. Speed dial 9. Tell the director I am sending you to LA." The younger man looked at him in shock, and when it hit him what was being said, he jumped to his feet and ran to the kitchen.

"Gibbs? Do you think that is wise?" Ziva asked, now on the edge of the couch.

"If you would like to go with him, you may." He looked around the room. "You can either go sit in a safe house in LA under our team there, or you can go with us to this Twin Lake place. Whatever makes any of you most comfortable."

Ziva thought about it. "I think I will go with Palmer to California. That way we know he is safe, and because the idea of a nice long flight, where I can be pretty sure there are no weapons on board, sounds like a great opportunity to sleep."

Ducky sat up at that idea. "Perhaps I'll join you."

"I'm going to stay close to home." I said. I didn't like the idea of Ziva going off by herself, but I liked the idea of Ducky and Palmer going across the country without an agent even less. I looked at Tim who nodded that he was staying, too. Gibbs and I both looked down at Abby.

"I'll go to Virginia with you guys." Gibbs nodded and we all broke to make arrangements.

Palmer handed Gibbs his cell so he could take over the conversation with Vance. I headed upstairs to put Abby to work packing a bag for Gibbs, hoping to get her mind off things. We all had brought bags with us for the stay at Gibbs house, and I figured what I had packed should be enough to get me through a couple of days at the cabin. I carried Gibbs' bag down the steps, Abby descending in front of me. I left it by the door as Abby joined Tim on the couch, immediately being wrapped in an embrace.

Leaving them alone, I walked through the kitchen to the dining room. I watched Gibbs as he hung up the phone call he was on, and rubbed his hands down his face. He turned to find me standing there and froze. I felt the weight of the stare and tried to convey as much reassurance as possible with my own. "Let's get out of here, Gibbs." I said quietly. He nodded and moved to walk past me, squeezing my shoulder as he went by. I stood there, watching him head for the living room, wondering what I could do to help him through this.


	2. Chapter 2

_Here's the next chapter :) Thank you everyone for your reviews and follows! That's so awesome of you :D Much love for the guest reviews that I couldn't reply to. I hope the first person POV hasn't thrown you off too much! WARNING- If you're a softy, like me, you might wanna crab some Kleenex (Sorry Bella!). I cried when I wrote this part. _

_Thanks Josgotglock and Kesterpan for reading through this with me and encouraging me to get it up! Much love! (Mistakes are alllll mine though!)_

Safe: Chapter Two  
The Breakdown

Two hours later, after statements and packing, we were part of a caravan back to the Navy yard. We hauled up in the bullpen, and were soon joined by the Director. I sat on the edge of Gibbs' desk, and he sat behind it. Abby was wrapped in McGee's suddenly very protective arms, where she had found herself after packing, and refused to leave. Ducky was sitting at my desk, and Palmer was on the floor leaning against it. Ziva was standing at the window, but off to the side out of potential sniper view. I watched the team listen to the director's concerned tirade. We were too raw to care.

The four of us were cleared to go to the cabins, but we would be accompanied by four others- two agents and two marshals. Two marshals were dispatched to go with Ducky, Palmer and Ziva to LA where the folks out there would greet them, and take the long way to the safe house that Breena was being kept. Palmer was able to send word that he was coming, but still hadn't been able to talk to her. He wasn't shaking anymore though, so we took that as a win.

We started getting on our feet slowly, heading for our stuff. I found myself wrapping Ziva in a big hug, and she held on for a long minute. The contact helped immensely. I didn't realize how and when I had come to rely on things like that. I grabbed Palmer by the shoulder in a brotherly kind of reassurance.

"See you in a bit? Tell that beautiful bride to be of yours that we're all looking forward to your big day." I looked at him in that way that conveys more than the words being said. "And we're all going to be there, Jimmy." He let out a deep breath, and nodded. Another pat on the back, and I turned to find Gibbs staring at our exchange.

I couldn't quite place the look on his face. It was curious, but there was something else. Not something _bad_ per se, but something very un-Gibbs. He really was exhausted if he was letting that open expression slip while staring right into my eyes. That, or maybe he just figured I deserved an honest look after what we were going through. Either way, it left me a little embarrassed, and hot under the collar.

The LA crowd made their way towards the back elevators. I looked around at our little group, and the Director looked at me. He knew Gibbs was about to collapse under this one. He knew we all were. I gave a barely visible nod, and looked over at Abby who must have fallen asleep against McGee, because she had the 'I'm-just-waking-up' face on. McGee grabbed her bags, nodded at us, then moved towards the elevator.

Vance reached back behind the partition to the spare desk, and picked up a plain, small black duffle bag, and handed it to me. It was too heavy to be clothes, yet it made no noise. He gave me a stern look that held a mountain of worry behind it. I looked from him to the bag, and then nodded once. I turned and joined Gibbs and the others as we met our escorts at the front elevator, and headed towards the cars. Gibbs hadn't even seen the exchange, lost in his own mind.

McGee and Abby were riding with one marshal and one agent, and Gibbs and I were riding with another mismatched pair. The fact that he wasn't arguing any of this had me worried. I couldn't tell if he was relieved that we were getting away for a couple of days, or if he was just resigned. Either way, we needed it, so here we went.

After we had been on the road for a few minutes, I got a text from McTim. _Everything good there?_

_Yeah. Should we be texting? Do you think they're tracing us?_ I typed back.

_I set a scrambling algorithm on our lines before I left. Yours, mine, Abby's, Gibbs', Vance's and Ziva's. The directions to unscramble it are in an email to Vance if anything were to happen._

I took a deep breath. For all the hassle I give him, I love that kid. _Way to go McGeek. Have I told you that I'm glad you skipped on Okinawa? Haha... _I added the "haha", but didn't feel it. He would be worried if I didn't though, so there it was.

_You're just saying that because you know that you two would have Abby wedged between you right now if I weren't here, _he joked back. I smiled.

_Like you mind, McLoverBoy! _I turned around to see if I could look out the back window and catch his expression in the car behind us, but he was too far away. I turned back around, smiling and chuckling softly, and realized that the entire action had thrown Gibbs off.

"What's going on? Is everything okay?" he asked, a slight panic on his face as he turned to look back too, before he saw my smile. The agents in the front seat looked at me.

"Everything is fine guys. Just kidding around with McGee, that's all." Gibbs looked at my phone with questioning eyes. I decided to show him. I opened the text from McGee about the phones, and handed it to him. He pulled it away from his face, squinting. When he was finally able to make it out without pulling his glasses from his backpack, he smirked. He pushed the down arrow, saw the other messages sent, and almost chuckled.

"I have to agree," he said, and handed the phone back to me.

"About which part?" I asked, eyebrows raised, and a soft smile on my face.

"All of it."

I smiled larger when I realized he saw the McLoverboy comment. He called me "loverboy" in the bullpen once, and I thought I was going to jump out of my skin. He had just come from talking to Abby, who I had bribed with dinner for some quick turn-around time on some fingerprinting. Abs and I had only known each other a while then, but we became fast friends after that. Gibbs had seen it as a date. He couldn't have been more wrong.

A new message popped up from Tim in the middle of my reminiscing.

_Honestly, considering the circumstances, I wouldn't have it any other way._

I smiled to myself thinking the same thing. I was secretly very glad that Abby had clung to Tim for comfort. That left Gibbs and I to look to one another for the same. I knew that if Gibbs was going to really let his guard down around anyone enough to recover from the past couple of days, recovering enough to take on the challenge of hunting down Tarim, it would have to be me. I couldn't lie to myself; a part of me was looking forward to it. I knew I could do the same with him, and I needed it.

It wasn't long into the trip when I unlocked my phone, and text Gibbs, despite being right next to me.

_I'm going to nap for a little bit. Wake me up in half an hour or so?_

When Gibbs opened his phone, he rolled his eyes and began the push and pull game of finding just the right angle to read the message, before nodding to the phone. I sighed and leaned my head against the door for a quick collapse. Sleep took me immediately, knowing I was safe with Gibbs next to me.

A little over half an hour later, Gibbs shook my leg discreetly. I woke up as casually looking as I could, and then looked at my phone. Gibbs had text me. I was kind of taken aback as I opened the message.

_my turn,_ was all it said.

Before I could even look over, Gibbs' eyes were closed, and his head was back. I smiled to myself. We knew the marshal in Tim and Abby's car. Though we trusted Agent Williams that was driving our car, neither of us had ever dealt with the marshal. He was probably just fine, but we were going to alternate our naps until we felt we were safe.

I let Gibbs sleep an hour, texting with the rest of the team while he rested.

Ziva and the autopsy duo were on plane number one to Houston, where they would layover for an hour until their flight to LA. I would get a text as soon as they were in the airport she promised.

Tim, Abby and I had taken to playing a game of "Would You Rather" via text, and it kept me laughing silently to myself. By the time the hour had gone by, I wanted to kiss McGee for thinking to take care of our phones. I had text him things other than the game with Abby. I asked if he trusted the agents they were with, if he thought we would really be safe at Twin Lakes, and basically just asked how he was handling everything.

He was angry, but not at the team. He was driven, and probably more focused than any of us. I knew Abby had something to do with that. She made him want to save the world. He had told me that once while drinking together. I knew that feeling, too, but I couldn't tell him. He'd ask who made me feel it, and I couldn't tell him that it was the man asleep next to me.

That's when I realized I should probably wake Gibbs, but it took me a minute to get the courage to touch him. I finally decided that if I didn't he would be mad that I had let him sleep so long. Looking out my window, I reached over, and gave his leg a quick shove. I watched his reflection in the glass. He was really cute when waking up, though even if there was a god, and we were together, I knew I could never use the word "cute" with him, and live to tell about it. The idea made me look down, and try to hide a sad smile.

I knew the next couple of days would provide a unique opportunity for me to explore what I felt for him, but a huge wall of doubt, guilt and shame kept me from wanting to. Doubt that he could ever return the feelings I felt, guilt for thinking of taking advantage of his vulnerable state to get the truth out of him and shame... well shame for lusting after, and eventually falling in love with the man.

I dated a guy once in college. It was a closet situation for both of us, and it ended badly. He and I were getting serious, and I fucked it up. I got scared, slept with some random string of girls, didn't even bother trying to fix it. I still felt that he deserved better, and a piece of me desperately wanted to contact him, and let him know how sorry I was for being such a ridiculous coward and douchebag. Knowing our lives now, we wouldn't have lasted anyway, but I still felt bad.

I saw the little green light flashing on my phone to say I had a text in the window reflection. I looked down to find the message was from Vance of all people. I opened it with curiosity.

_You are not to tell Gibbs what I'm about to tell you. Fornell just informed me that they have figured out where Tarim is hiding. Balboa's team is working with the CIA and heading to Egypt to track him down. I'll update you as we go along. No one is to know until we have him in custody._

I was shocked. Why was he telling me and not Gibbs? I kept my face a mask, and put a fake smile on to cover the frozen feeling I had inside. The Director knew how I felt about keeping things from Gibbs.

_With all due respect sir, I don't believe that's a wise decision. You know that I am going to tell Gibbs anything I feel is required as the situation arises. This team is built on the trust that he and I have created and maintained. You can't ask that of me- our lives depend on it. _

I could just see Vance shaking his head, and throwing his phone down as he reads my message, but I didn't care. I would show Gibbs the message as soon as we were alone in the cabin. If he felt he had anything to contribute, then he could tell the director himself. They could duke this one out- I was too damned tired.

_I know you'll use your best judgment Agent DiNozzo._

It was so hard to subtly convey a threat over text, but I'm pretty sure that's what he was trying to do.

_As always Director, _I shot back.

I couldn't believe he was trying to pull this shit after all that he's witnessed our team go through. Now was not the time to be turning us against one another. Everyone always talked about how incredibly impressive our team was, and Vance knows- _he knows_ exactly what it was that made us that way. Loyalty to each other, trust in one another, and genuine care about what we did. Hell, now that we'd lived through the first round of henchmen, I had absolutely every bit of faith possible that we would all come out of the other side of this tighter, stronger, and better because of it.

That thought hit me hard. We really would. We would take this challenge on, and had been taking it on, like the family we were, and in the end, when the dust settled, we would be closer than ever. I smiled as an odd peace settled over me, and I looked over at Gibbs. He was looking out his window, but I saw him staring back at me in the reflection. He smiled back at me, and I took a deep breath, resting my head against the back of the seat. This wasn't going to be easy, but we would be okay.

My phone flashed again. Ziva and Palmer had just landed in Houston, and told me to expect a text when they were in LA.

Twenty minutes later, we were entering the state park, and went directly to the cabins. The marshal in each car went to sweep the four cabins as we sat there. Gibbs looked at Williams, and leaned forward a little bit so he could see the man's face as he asked, "Williams? How well do you know Marshal Craig?" Williams looked back with understanding.

"He's a good man, Agent Gibbs. We actually go way back. I, uh, dated his sister. I requested him for us just for your concerns, keeping it as close to the family as possible." Gibbs smiled, and squeezed the guy's shoulder with a chuckle.

"Thanks, Dave," he said, and sat back, giving me the look I knew I was giving him. Our rep definitely preceded us. I caught Williams' reflection in the mirror and nodded my own thanks to him. It was just one more thing that disarmed me. Not only did our team give a shit, but we surrounded ourselves with the best people. They were willing to be a defensive perimeter for us when we needed them to protect us from all the worst the world had to offer. For as much as we could be asses to them, especially Gibbs, we had the strongest allies anyone could ask for.

The marshals came back and let us know we were clear for the cabins. Tim helped Abby out of the car behind us, and we moved to the trunks to get our things. We were inside pretty quickly. I had my backpack and the duffle bag over my shoulder. Gibbs looked at the duffel with a question then looked to my face for the answer. I gave him the look that said "when we're alone". He gave me the "Okay, you'd better," look back.

We ran over the protection detail's schedule, and Marshal Craig took the first watch at our door. As soon as we were left alone, I turned to Gibbs, and motioned him to the bag. "I have no idea what this is. The Director handed it off to me before we left," I said unzipping it.

Once I saw what was in there, I took back everything bad I had thought about the man. It was a small weapons cache, and two bottles, one of Scotch and one of Bourbon, wrapped in NCIS sweatshirts. I laughed loudly, and shook my head. Gibbs joined me, grabbing the bourbon. I took one of the pistols, loaded it, and tucked it in my back waistband. We had to turn our weapons over after the shootout at Gibbs' house. I figured we wouldn't be issued new weapons while in hiding, but Vance had our back. I loaded one for Gibbs, and handed it off as he handed me a glass half full of dark brown liquid.

He held his up in a silent toast, and I joined him, everything worth saying, spoken wordlessly. I took my phone out and started going through my messages. "Get your glasses," I ordered. Gibbs looked at my suddenly concern-filled face, and moved towards his bag. I handed him my phone as he fit his spectacles on his nose.

"Wait, what?" he asked in a tone that I had never heard from him. "What is that idiot thinking?" He reached for his own phone then stopped, and scrolled down. I blushed furiously all of the sudden, realizing that he was reading my reply text.

"Gibbs," I started. "We can't really do anything right now. We're too exhausted. They have to try. We need at least one night's rest before we choose that battle. At least I do, and Tim and Abby do too." Gibbs looked over at me, frustrated and confused.

"We've taken care of their asses plenty of times. Let them have _our_ backs for once. We need to sit this one out tonight, and just take care of ourselves here." He looked like he was going to fight me on it, so I added as quietly as I could, with a step towards him, "Please, Gibbs."

He sighed, and looked back at me, every ounce of exhaustion written on his face, and nodded. I gave him as much of a smile as I could, picked up the bottles of bourbon and scotch, and moved towards the couch. He came over, and sat with me. I refilled his almost empty glass with another splash of bourbon, and handed him the bottle without the lid. He poured even more in his glass, and I finished mine before opening the scotch, and filling my glass completely. We were silent for a long time, just sipping and thinking.

After he finished his glass, Gibbs stood up and built a fire in the small fire place in front of us. He knew I loved a fire as much as he did. I pulled the blanket off the back of the couch someone had left there, and put it halfway over my lap. It was getting chilly in here, as early fall nights were known to be. If we weren't being hunted down by a battalion of hit-men hired by a crazy terrorist seeking revenge, this would be a nice little vacation, the likes of which neither Gibbs or I had seen in a while.

Gibbs moved to the small fridge to see what food was in there. He found some hotdogs and buns, and some other camper food that had been stocked by the park staff. It was probably just whatever they sold at the visitors' center. I half watched/half listened as he grabbed a couple of plates, a few dogs and a long steak fork to grill them on. He sat on the floor in front of the fire, and stuck the dogs into the flames to let them cook. I refilled our glasses, and curled back up under the cover, letting the warm liquor rush through my body, relaxing me.

With his back mostly to me, I watched Gibbs intently, taking him in; his silver hair shining in the fire, the tension in his shoulders, the worry on his face. I wanted to just hold him and make everything better, make it go away, but of course I fought the urge with everything in me. A few minutes later, I wasn't alone on the couch anymore. Gibbs handed me a plate with two hotdogs, and I handed him his refilled glass. We ate in silence, but any discomfort we felt wasn't because of one another. After we had both had enough liquor to pry our mouths open, I couldn't keep mine shut any longer.

"None of this if your fault, you know." I turned to look at him. He looked back at me with sadder eyes than I had seen since Kate died.

"How is this _not_ my fault Tony? We lost two agents this morning- two agents that were trying to protect _my_ team because someone wants revenge for something _I_ did. I think, by definition, that means it's _my_ fault." He spoke in a quiet, eerie, self-wallowing, angry tone that tempted me to shut my mouth.

"It's not your fault, because you're not the sadistic, vengeful asshole trying to kill us. And for the record, before you even think it, the revenge on is based on something you did under an order; an order that you followed in order to protect a lot of good people. That's nothing to lose sleep over," I said back with as much conviction as I could muster.

"Tony, you know what I did to him. You know what I did the other day. How can you defend me?"

"Because I know the other day, you did what you did because you love your team. You were protecting family, just like you were protecting other people's families back then. It's no less justifiable than Hernandez." I couldn't break eye contact if I wanted to. I was frozen in place as soon as the words began leaving my mouth. I had just told him that I knew about Hernandez. I saw his eyes widen, and what little color that was left in his face drained. I nodded a hair to affirm that yes, I did really just say that.

"You didn't turn yourself in because you know that what you did was right, deep in your gut. You wouldn't have done what you did the other day if you didn't believe it was right, and you wouldn't have done what you did twenty years ago to Tarim, if you didn't believe _that_ was right. Don't take the blame for what this prick is doing. We'll all be alright. This is what makes us, "us" Jethro." I said it so quietly that it was almost a whisper.

Gibbs closed his mouth, and moved his head in a slight nod.

"Don't get me wrong, this really does suck, but I know that a week from now, we'll be back in the bullpen, we'll catch a case, and we'll all stand up, grab our gear, and get that feeling that keeps us in this job; that feeling that lets us know that we are exactly where we're supposed to be, with who we're supposed to be with. That feeling has been created by the experiences we_ all_ have brought to the table, and what we have been through together. Together. I was there the other day, too. If what happened shouldn't have happened, I wouldn't have let it. You know that."

Gibbs eyes closed, and he shivered. "I never wanted any of you to ever have to be in that place with me. Hell, I _never_ wanted to have to be in that place, none the less go there _again_."

The pain that I saw on his face devastated me. I didn't even realize I had moved to touch him until I felt my hand on his shoulder. That one touch is all it took for him to give like a house of cards. He fell over onto my shoulder, and despite my surprise, I wrapped my arm around him, and held him there. He didn't make a move after that, just sat there against me, my head resting on his.

My heart was breaking as I felt the tears fall from him onto my chest. I felt my own sobless tears start to fall, and made no move to wipe them away. I just wanted to let it all go like a big baby; just break down, and sob, and cry, and stomp my feet, and shake, and heave until I lost my dinner, but I couldn't.

My pain suddenly felt insignificant. I wasn't the one that had recently done unspeakable things to a man that went against everything in me, under the pretense that it was exactly the kind of thing I was made to do. To torture a man- to intentionally inflict severe pain on another human being like I had seen Gibbs do, not just once, but at least one other time in his life, had to be a horrible experience. It was horrible to watch the man I love become _that_, despite the cause.

I reached my other arm around him, and pulled him against me. He shifted to accept the embrace, and returned it, curling into me. I ran my hand across his back over and over again, trying desperately to soothe the inner demons trying to claw their way out of him. This was not how I wanted the first time we held each other to be. This was not where, or how, I wanted to start a deeper chapter of our relationship.

I swallowed hard. I had no idea what was going to come from this, but I had to be ready for anything. He could resent me completely for seeing him at his most vulnerable. He could push me away tomorrow. He could cling to me, and see me in a new light. I had no idea. Most likely, we would wake up tomorrow, and just ignore this had ever happened, until we needed it again in five years when something else happened, and then we'd know who we could turn to for it.

An hour later, Gibbs was asleep against me, and I pulled the blanket around both of us. We clung to each other even in his sleep. I shifted to reach my scotch, and he clung to me tighter so that I couldn't move. I had to smile to myself at that as I sat there sipping the drink. I didn't even realize that I had begun running my hand through his short hair as I stared into the dying fire. I wasn't happy about how we ended up here, but I was eternally grateful for the moment.

I tried to still my heart, which had started racing now that the darkness of the situation was slowly ebbing. It wasn't working. My mind ran faster than even my heart. Gibbs' body was warm against mine, and felt right there. There was something beyond intimate about how the man had surrendered to those emotions with me, of all people. There was no weakness in it. If anything, it was his strongest moment, finally reaching out, and trusting someone in a way that he hadn't tried to do in years. I felt honored, and incredibly special. It was strong enough to override the fear that when Gibbs woke up, he'd be furious.

I sat there running my hands through his hair, holding him close until when, in the middle of the night, my phone rang loudly from the coffee table. I tossed my head back on the couch, and Gibbs sat up, partially untangling himself from me. It was my text alert.

I looked at Gibbs who was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with one free hand, the other on my thigh still. I couldn't help but smile a little bit at the man. He yawned, and then looked at me. "You gonna check it?" I nodded, the smile still there. His words held no sting, just curiosity.

I reached for my phone, my hand not leaving the small of his back. He tried to look at it with me, but his glasses were back on the counter in the kitchenette. I read aloud under my breath.

_Agent DiNozzo, Tell Agent Gibbs that the CIA just stormed Tarim's hideout in Cairo and had missed him by about an hour. They have a good lead on what direction he was heading and are in pursuit. I'll be in touch with updates. Our LA team has confirmed that our people are safely tucked in at the safehouse._

He knew good and well that I would have told Gibbs by now. He would do well to remember that anything said to me is going to be said to Gibbs. It would save us both a lot of tension and friction. Gibbs just nodded, and put his head back on my shoulder. "Did you get any sleep?" he asked in an exhausted tone.

"Not yet," I said gently, testing the waters to see which direction they would flow.

"We should. Big day tomorrow," he said with a gruff sleep in his voice. "Bed would be more comfortable. If you want to get off this couch, I'd understand." His voice sounded strained, and I realized that he didn't want me to leave him. I fought the urge for a just a minute, and then resigned to my own exhaustion.

"I think the bed sounds like a good plan. You comin'?" I asked quietly, trying to sound sure and confident, but failing miserably. I could feel Gibbs tense under my arm, and then with a deep breath he relaxed.

"Sure." He disengaged himself from me, and stood up to stretch. I stood as well, and shivered from the sudden lack of his warmth. He rubbed his arms, and moved to put two more logs on the fire. I waited for him, and then we moved to the bedroom portion of the cabin. My phone was in my hand, setting the alarm as I pulled the blankets back, and placed the phone and gun on the nightstand.

I crawled into bed fully dressed as Gibbs did the same on the other side. I reached out my arm to him with a questioning look, and he fell against me. I smiled to myself, and let out a deep sigh. I could have sworn I felt him smile into my chest for a moment, and I picked up where I left off, stroking the hairs closest to his neck. I felt his breathing level out, and knew he was asleep. It was about 0330 at this point. My alarm was set for 0700 so we could have a head start at waking up before the agents outside came in to check on us at 0830. I fell asleep soon, a small smile on my face, my head leaning against Gibbs', and my arm pressing him as close to me as I could.


	3. Chapter 3

_Hey folks! Here's part three. Thanks for all of the reviews and support with this one! To those that have guest reviewed, I can't reply, but I appreciate the encouragement and am glad you're liking this! This chapter comes with another Kleenex warning. This is definitely the most emotional story I've ever posted. Thanks Josgotglock and Kesterpan for your read-throughs and encouragement with this tale! Love you gals!_

Chapter Three: Attached

The alarm went off and startled me awake. I could hear Gibbs groan against me, and felt like doing the same. I reached for the snooze, and sat back in the silence. I felt Gibbs' arms tighten around me, and smiled from ear to ear. I wasn't sure that we were on the same page, but I was going to take this moment as the pure ecstasy is provided.

"What time is it Tony?" he asked, snuggling deeper into me. My eyes closed as I relished every moment of waking up with him.

"0700." I said. "We'll have visitors in an hour and a half. Snooze goes off in ten minutes if you wanna take it."

Gibbs nodded, and my hand made its way back to his hair. It was surprisingly soft. I hadn't slept more than three hours, but I felt so much better. I thought about Tim and Abby, and wondered if they were having a similar morning. I hoped so. Everyone should wake up every day feeling like this. If they did, the world would be a much better place.

I closed my eyes and dozed a few minutes before the alarm went off again. I grabbed my phone and hit snooze one more time before Gibbs could do more than stir. I fell asleep right away with the phone in my hand. The next alarm roused us both. I turned it off completely as we sat there awake, and wrapped up together.

"You should sleep a little more; you didn't get much," he finally said gently. "I'll go make some coffee, and wake you up after my shower." It was sweet, concerned, and had a hint of question to it. I didn't say anything, just pulled him closer to me. He sighed happily, and I felt my heart start racing again.

We laid there for a long few minutes just absorbing each other. "I could stay here forever," I finally whispered, though I meant it to come out with my full voice. I could feel Gibbs smile again against me.

"Yeah?" he asked, a little question to his tone, a little agreement.

"Yeah." I looked down at him, and smiled as he looked back up at me, resting his chin against my chest, staring into my eyes. He smiled back at me, and I saw something in his eyes that I didn't expect. They said what I felt- confused, happy, and the undeniable look of... love. I could only stare back as he whispered, "Me too." We were interrupted by the damn phone again. I groaned, and tossed my head back. Gibbs rolled off me.

"Coffee," was all he said as he made his way into the kitchen. I picked up the phone to find a text from McInterrupter.

_If you're up, call me before our check-in._

I hit dial. "Hey, McProbie. What's up?" I crawled out of the warmth of the blankets, and moved across the cabin to join Gibbs in the kitchen. I ran my hand across the small of his back to let him know I wasn't giving up on this, and was rewarded with a smile.

"Abby and I have been trying to track down Fornell's team, and they're in Africa. What the hell is going on?"

"Probie! Are you being a McSleuth again? We're supposed to be resting so we can sleuth later," I said putting him on speaker. "Say that again so Gibbs can hear."

"I said, Fornell is in Africa. Any idea what he could be doing there?" McGee said.

"Yeah, the Director let us know in the middle of the night that they had intel that Tarim was in Egypt, and Balboa's men went after him. They lost him though, and are now tracking him. Fornell is probably joining the search party. We'll hopefully be updated, but we can't do anything about it for now. Try to rest McGee. I appreciate what you're doing, but we gotta wait for the right moment to get back into this game. It's not right now. Get some rest." I watched Gibbs tell McGee what we knew, and poured a cup of coffee for each of us. I handed him a mug, and then turned to load mine with sugar.

"Boss, I can't let this go completely. I'll get some rest for now, but you'll hear from me later with whatever I find," McGee said, anxious determination in his voice. Abby came on the line.

"Don't worry Gibbs, I'll make him rest," she said with a tone much lighter than the last time we heard her. Gibbs raised his eyebrows, and looked at me.

"Surrrrre you will, Abs," I joked, and felt the sting of a head-slap.

"That's what you get, Tony," she said laughing. "Bye guys. Come on, Tim." She hung up on us. Gibbs looked at me with a smile, and shook his head.

"Come on, like you weren't thinking it!" I said with laughter on the edge of my tongue.

"Yeah! But I wouldn't _say_ it! Abby's my... well she's like my daughter for Christ's sake!" he said with open amusement, and then we both started laughing. "I'm going to go take a shower. If you're lucky, I'll save you some hot water."

I shook my head, watching him head for the bathroom. He stopped at the door, and turned to stare back with a half-smile. After a moment, he shook his head, and closed the door behind him. I chewed on my lip. I had no idea what I was doing, but I wasn't going to stop. I opened the fridge, and looked to see what I had for breakfast options. There was a gallon of milk. I opened the cabinet next to the fridge to find three boxes of cereal. Score.

I sat on the small kitchen counter, and poured a bowl of Rice Krispies. I ate them with gusto, and was working on my second bowl when Gibbs came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. I choked on my cereal as I looked up, and had to wash it down with coffee. Neither of us said anything, but I wasn't the only one blushing furiously. He picked up his pack, and headed for the bedroom. _Smooth, Tony. Real smooth, _I admonished myself.

I finished my bowl of cereal, and left it in the sink, then picked up my own pack, and headed for the bathroom. I stared in the mirror at the faint blush that still tinted my cheeks. I found plenty of hot water left, and attempted to wash the past two weeks' nightmare from my body. I dried off and got dressed, trying to work my hair into something decent without any gel.I chuckled a little to myself, wondering why I even cared. It was Gibbs after all. The man had seen me wake up at my desk with my hair sticking up all over, show up to crime scenes with bed head, and he saw me look my most handsome while battling an ancient plague. _Comfortable. Just be natural, _I coached myself.

I took the deepest breath I could manage, and looked at myself in the mirror. I brushed my teeth, then packed my stuff back in my bag. Another deep breath, and I thought about that look in Gibbs' eyes when we were in bed this morning. I smiled to myself, and let the feeling drift through me again. It was going to be fine.

I opened the door to find Gibbs had taken my place on the counter, his own bowl of cereal in his hands, though I'm pretty sure he opted for something other than the Rice Krispies. I tossed my bag on the ground against the cabinets, and my eyes locked with Gibbs' as I came around the counter to pour me another mug of coffee.

There was a knock at the door, and Gibbs jumped down, checking for his gun in the back of his waistband. I moved to the bedroom quickly, and retrieved my gun from the nightstand. We both stood by the door as the knock came again. "Say it," I announced.

"The watchdog needs to eat," a voice said from the other side. Gibbs opened the door to Craig and Williams standing on the other side. "You guys doing okay in here?" Williams asked.

"Yeah, thanks," Gibbs said.

"Everything good with Abby and McGee?" I asked.

Both men nodded. "They were checked on a few minutes ago. McGee was asleep and Abby was doing something on his computer," Craig said, a hint of concern in his voice.

"Out with it. What's wrong?" I commanded.

"I just don't know if using a computer out here is the best idea. It could lead someone to us," he said.

Gibbs snickered, and I laughed hard. "You don't have to worry about them," Gibbs said, a little humor in his voice and dancing in his bright blue eyes.

"Yeah. Tim is NCIS's number one hacker. No one would look here for weeks, because that's how long it would take them to crack his encryptions. And Abby? She's right there behind him. No one is going to find us because of their computers. In fact, NCIS's entire network is probably vulnerable back home because we have them out here with us. Just saying," I explained.

Williams was holding back a laugh himself. He knew all of this. Craig didn't, not being NCIS and all. "Trust me Steve, don't piss either of them off. He can make your life a living hell, and she can kill you and hide every skin cell on your body, every hair. Wouldn't want to be this Tarim guy once they get ahold of him. I kinda hope the CIA get him before these guys do. That way, I don't have to spend months in court waiting to testify." He winked at me, and Craig just shook his head. I caught Gibbs' smirk. He was proud of his team, no doubt about that, but when he heard people talk like this, he played it off with a cockiness that was just so... well hot. I loved it.

The watchdogs left, and I looked at Gibbs with the smile I couldn't shake. He looked back, and his smirk turned into that shy smile he'd been wearing since waking up on the couch last night. "What?" he asked.

"Ah, nothin'. Just wondering what to do between now and the 1300 visit," I said as coyly as possible.

Gibbs head fell back, and his eyes rolled up in his head for a second. When he lowered it again, his blue eyes stared at me, still smiling. "You're going to make this hard on me aren't you?" he asked quietly, but without an ounce of anger.

"Oh, you know me too well to expect anything different," I said, biting my lower lip and scanning his body as obviously as possible.

I moved into the living room and sat on the couch, hoping Gibbs would follow. I could hear his sigh of resignation, and then he was flopping down next to me. I smiled, and put the mug of coffee I was half finished with on the end table. I took his from him, and sat it there as well. A moment later, he was laying against me again. I held him, and he nuzzled me. I nuzzled him back, earning a happy mmmm sound from him. I smiled bigger, and more genuinely than I had in years.

"Not to ruin this, but do you have any idea what we're doing?" Gibbs asked. I laughed quietly.

"Not exactly, but I _really_ don't want to stop. Is that okay?" I asked.

"Oh, yeah. Neither do I. Just making sure I'm not the only clueless, happy moron in the room," he retorted, and I laughed loudly. He snuggled closer, and I kissed the top of his head.

"You are definitely not a moron, Jethro. Clueless? Maybe, sometimes. Happy? Well, that makes me ecstatic, but neither of us are morons." I could feel him relax into me, and I let myself sink into him. "Actually, this may be the smartest thing we've done in ten years," I added, realizing how much I meant it.

We lay happily against each other for a long time, just enjoying the silence. I eventually fell asleep, and Gibbs let me. When he woke me up, it was almost two hours later. He was still against me, but was moving his hand up my chest. "We should probably get ready for the next check in," he said quietly and, somehow, seductively in my ear. His warm breath sent chills through me, and his low voice manipulated my half-awake body into reacting. I groaned a little. Gibbs let out a small sadistic chuckle, and smirked as he got up.

"Ahhh! Now I know why everyone calls you a bastard!" I groaned.

"You mean you hadn't figured it out already?" he joked as I heard the shuffling of the coffee pot, followed by the click of it being turned on.

"Well, I knew you were a bastard by profession, but now I know it goes much deeper than that."

I stood up, and forced myself to think of my usual depressors to get rid of my erection. The blood flow shifted as I stretched, and finally, after a rather long moment, I felt it receding. By the time I picked up our mugs and headed to the kitchen, Gibbs was rooting through the fridge to decide on what to eat.

There was bread, milk, hot dogs, bologna, cheese, mozzarella string cheese, ketchup, mustard, and jelly. I opened the cabinet where the cereal was, and found the peanut butter, some crackers and a box of granola bars. I shrugged and pulled the peanut butter out, looking to Gibbs for confirmation. He nodded and grabbed the bread and jelly, and we set about making sandwiches.

The coffee stopped brewing, and I put some sugar in my mug before I filled them both. When I turned around, I got that mischievous feeling that saw an opportunity and urged me to take it. I put my coffee down on one side of Gibbs before sitting his down on the other side, making sure I didn't touch his back, but had one arm on each side. I leaned into his ear and whispered, "Just how you like it." He shuddered, and jumped back into me. I stepped away after his back rested against my chest only a moment.

I picked up my mug and sandwich, stealing a look at his frozen face, and headed into the living room. "Get backs are hell," I shouted over my shoulder with glee. My taunt was actually having as much of a reaction on me as it was on him, but I breathed deeply and tried to control myself. At least I knew the fire was on both sides now. I wasn't the only one that was lusting in this new... thing... we were doing. I was thrilled.

I sat alone on the couch, happily lost in thought, eating my PB&J and drinking coffee, when my text alert went off again. Gibbs was by my side immediately. It was Vance, and I read it aloud.

_CIA knows where Tarim is. It's not safe for our agents to get to him. We'll have to sit on him for the time being and wait until he can be gotten. He knows we're on to him though, so sit tight. _

Gibbs rolled his eyes, and sat heavily on the couch next to me, and let his hands rub up his face. "You okay?" I asked him.

"Yeah. Just not good at this whole being patient thing," he said quietly.

"Nah! Really? You?! Since when?" I barked with obviously sarcastic surprise. I laughed, and thunked him with my shoulder. He smiled up at me a little, and rolled his eyes. "Come on Gibbs. Give yourself a kudo. I completely expected you to be on the way back to DC by now. In fact, I think there's only one thing keeping you here," I felt bold saying the last bit.

"You're right," he said softly, looking me in the eyes, and then a smile worked at the edges of his mouth. "This really _is_ good coffee."

I laughed, and smacked him upside the head in the first ever 'reverse head slap'. "You ass!" I joked. He rubbed the back of his head, but laughed.

"I don't hit you _that_ hard, do I?" he asked, still rubbing.

"Uh, no," I said, and he looked up at me. "You hit me harder. You're just being a wuss." I laughed and he pushed me. I chuckled feeling a little shy suddenly.

"I should probably give Tim and Abs the update." I forwarded the text to McGee. His text came back rather quickly.

_I'm on it._

"That's not why I sent it," I groaned. Jethro looked at me wanting to know what was up. I sighed. "I told McGee what the director had said, and he text me back saying "I'm on it." He's not letting himself rest, and he's going to burn out. I don't know what's driving him with this one. It's not the kidnapping. I just don't get it."

"Well..." Gibbs started slowly, and then his voice got a little sad. "Well, Tim hasn't been in touch with much of his family lately, except a grandmother who he was, at one time, very close to, and she was throwing him off the trail of something extremely important, losing his trust. And Sarah, who went back to California. He's part of our dysfunctional family more than ever. And Abby is getting older, more mature, looking for something more out of life... maybe...?" he stopped and looked up at me.

"Gibbs, are you saying you think he's acting like this because he's in love with Abby?" I watched him shrug. It was unlike Gibbs to comment about anyone's love lives amongst us. Then again, with what we were doing, I guess it seemed natural to open that door.

"Could be. He's protecting the people he loves more than anyone now. I'm pretty sure he was intentionally captured last week," he said, looking down into his coffee.

I nodded full-heartedly at that one.

"Well, yeah, especially with the supplies on him he had. We're lucky we didn't lose him," I said quietly.

"It's nothing _we_ haven't done," he said just as quietly.

"And would do again," I said, meeting his eyes.

"I was always under the impression that having a team as close as ours was dangerous. I never wanted it. Worked better alone… But now that I have it..." Gibbs shook his head and rubbed his face, then looked around the room and back at me. When his eyes locked mine, all of the nervous tension in him stopped, and he became solid and grounded. "Now that I have it, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I won't let anything happen to it. The closer everyone gets, the better we function, the stronger we are, and the better this job gets. I don't know how I got to be so damned lucky, but I'll be damned if I let anything happen to us now."

I stared back at him. I could feel my mouth partially opened in an amazed smile. He touched something in me that resonated with everything he said, and it was thrumming, vibrating in harmony.

I was a lone wolf when he met me, roaming from station to station, trying to find my place. Baltimore was feeling like a good fit, but then everything blew up, and there he was, pointing me to where I needed to go, literally. He had been working pretty much without a team, no one able to stand his disconnection. He didn't play well with others, I was told. I took it as a challenge. Now, here we were, ten years later, sitting on this couch, in a cabin in the middle of the woods, hiding out to protect our family, despite how badly we wanted to be chasing down the bad guy.

"If you knew just how intensely I understood that..." I started.

"I do," he cut me off. His earnest look changed to match my smile. "Guess that's why this is happening." He wanted to look away, but I held his gaze steady. I wanted to kiss him so bad, but I needed him to make that move. I just sat there, letting the moment make me tingle from head to toe.

It was check-in time though. The knock started. I closed my eyes, and shook my head. Gibbs groaned a little. "Are we going to be interrupted every time we try to discuss this?" he asked, frustration in his voice as he got to his feet in a hurry. He went to throw open the door, and I jumped up. "Say it!" I hollered, and looked at Gibbs as he already was pulling the gun out from his back. "Jethro!" I hissed. He shot me a grumpy look, and then shook his head, putting his gun back in his waistband.

"_The watchdog needs to eat," _came through the door. I opened it, and stood in front of the angry Gibbs so he couldn't launch on the men outside the door.

"Hey, guys. We're good," I said right away. They both just nodded. "We _are_ good, right? Nothing to worry about?"

"Nope. No problems. Just not looking forward to the rain we're about to get," Craig said with a sarcastic smile. I nodded. The sky looked dark, and I understood where he was coming from.

"You moving to the car then?" I asked him. Abby and Tim's cabin had a porch, but ours didn't.

Craig nodded. "If you guys think that will be okay." Gibbs and I nodded.

"I'll be on Cabin Two's porch for a while keeping an eye out before I go get some sleep for the night patrol," Williams said. "Jameson is taking their night watch over there."

We nodded again. "Okay," I said. "I don't care about us with the car, but someone needs to be on their house at all times. McGee is capable, but Abby needs someone extra to have her back." They both nodded, and knew that if it was coming from me, it wasn't just talk. Gibbs and I knew that Abby could handle herself pretty well, but that was when she was on her own turf. She had none of her usual weapons with her now.

We said our goodbyes, and closed the door. I turned around to face Gibbs who was still standing behind me, having barely moved an inch. His gaze never left my eyes. He stared into them so tenderly that I had no choice but to stare back. I felt that same feeling I had felt when I woke up and he was in my arms. He moved the few inches between us, and put his arms around my waist. I put my arms around his neck, and looked into his eyes. He whispered hoarsely, "Don't think we'll be interrupted now."

"Good," I whispered back, and then we leaned in towards each other, and our lips met. It was so powerful being in his arms, so close to him, hearing his voice raspy with desire, longing and then the texture of his lips against mine. They weren't chapped, but they weren't really soft. The kiss was though. It was almost tentative; a test to see if it was what we really wanted. It only lasted a moment before we pulled away. His eyes were closed at first, then he opened them to look back at me. They dropped again as he came back for more.

I leaned in, and made sure that this kiss let him know how badly I'd been wanting him. It was fervent and passionate, and as soon as I opened my lips for him, he took the opportunity. We let our tongues slip and slide over each other, twisting and sucking_, _teeth occasionally grazing lips.

My hands were caught up in his hair, and at some point I was pushed against the door. Without missing a beat or breaking the passion, he locked the door's deadbolt, chain lock and doorknob lock. I pulled him against me as hard as I could, and he pushed against me, making me feel like I was part of him and part of the door, no longer an individual person. It was incredible, and entirely worth the wait of years to experience.

My phone rang out with its text alert in my pocket, and I didn't even reach for it. It rang again, and Gibbs pulled it out of my pocket and tossed it across the room onto the couch. He hadn't stopped kissing me, our hands exploring each other's bodies right there in the very spot. My hands were under his shirt feeling the muscles of his back tighten with every movement he made. His hands were running over my stomach and abs, then around my waist, a hand on each ass cheek, pulling me into him.

We were both rock hard, and I knew we were going to have to make ourselves stop soon. No matter how much of a pleasant distraction we were right now, I was way too serious about us to let it get there yet. My worry must have seeped through the passion, and he pulled away, both of us catching our breaths, foreheads against each other.

"You wanna stop, don't you?" he asked between pants.

"Not really, but we should. I think I should tell you some things," I said with breath more than voice. He nodded against me, and after a long couple of moments to catch our breaths, I took his hand and led him to the couch. He picked up my phone, and handed it to me. I sat it on the end table without looking at the message. We could have been getting attacked, but this was more important.

"I want this. Really badly," I said as we settled in, half cross-legged, facing each other, practically in each other's laps. "But I've wanted it for a long time."

Gibbs took the words in, and nodded. I continued. "I don't want to just be a distraction to you to get you through this. I need to know if you think you'll want to try to keep this going once we leave here; see where it leads."

His eyes looked almost hurt. "Tony, I would never use you as a distraction. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't want to. I wouldn't put everything we've worked so hard for, our team, our friendship, our careers, on the line for something I wasn't serious about. This makes so much sense to me. I don't know why I didn't let myself see it before, but I think this is good. I think this feels... right. Am I making any sense?" he was rambling a little, and by the end he was squeezing my hands so tight I couldn't feel my fingertips.

I took in a sharp breath, and exhaled slowly. "I just needed to hear that." He smiled, and loosened my fingers a little just to fold them together with mine.

"You and your constant reassurance," he smiled at our hands, and then up at me.

"Yup. Think you can handle that?" I winked at him.

"Oh, I think I can work it in," he said, and then leaned forward, kissing me deeply. I leaned into it, and we sat on the couch, making out for a long time. The rain started falling, and we could hear it around us. I felt insatiable. I wanted things to go so much further, but this wasn't the time or place. I could tell Jethro was having the same inner battle. I finally sighed, and started dialing down our intensity.

We lay together for a long time before I got another text. We looked at each other with the same realization. We hadn't even looked at the text from earlier. Whoops. I grabbed behind me for my phone, but couldn't find it by feel. Jethro reached up over me and grabbed it, turning it over so I could see it. I took it from him, and opened the message from earlier, reading it aloud.

_Sorry I could not contact you last night. I misplaced my phone charger. I did not realize that Breena's phone used the same charger, so now I am fully charged again. We are having a surprisingly nice time. The LA team is very supportive. They are very different, but I feel we are safe here. Let me know you are well._

"Ziva. I wondered why that fink hadn't text me herself."

I replied quickly. _We are doing well. I'm glad you got your phone charged. Was a little worried. I have updates for you. Will forward messages in a few minutes. _

I moved on to the next message. It was from Vance.

_Tarim was flushed out. The CIA have him in custody. We are waiting for word on whether or not you are safe to come home. Unfortunately, he's not cooperating. They are going to try other methods of getting the information. _

I could feel Gibbs shudder as he buried his head in the crook of my arm and my chest. I reached up and ran my hand through his hair, kissing the top of his head. He, himself, was traumatized by what he had done. I realized that this was going to take some gentle finesse. I forwarded the message to Tim and Ziva_. _We all knew they were going to torture the man.

"Talk to me Jethro," I said gently.

I didn't think he was going to. He didn't speak for a long time. I held him silently for ten minutes before he looked up into my eyes, chin propped on his hand lying flat on my chest. His eyes looked like he had been the one tortured. He spoke so quietly it was hard to hear over the rain.

"Being a sniper, I have taken a lot of lives. In the field as an agent, I have taken even more. It's painful, but it's quick. Bullets end things fairly efficiently. Through the head, through the heart. There was a time I could nail someone's femoral artery at 300 yards in such a way that they bled out in less than a minute." I tried to keep my gaze steady, and my breath steadier. My heart was racing though. I knew that he could feel it too, lying directly against my chest. He continued though. "Torturing a man... is completely different. To intentionally inflict pain for the sake of pain, to hurt another person and see that infliction in their eyes, to hear it in their pleas, in their sounds..." His voice broke and I saw his eyes fill with tears again.

I stroked his arm to try to comfort him. I knew he needed to get this out. I tried to steel my heart against it. I could feel my own eyes burn with tears, but I never closed them. I stared right back, connecting as much as possible with him, to let him know I was there with him and for him. I witnessed him turn into someone cold and detached as he got the info out of Tarim's henchman about where Ziva and Tim were being kept. I won't lie- it was easily one of the most frightening moments of my life to see him like that. He scared me.

"I tried not to think of them as being human. Not even as animals. Just,_ things_. It had a horrible effect on me back then_. I_ became a _thing_ for days afterwards. I would be numb, and cold to everything. I couldn't feel. I had already lost the girls by time I started those assignments. I had no reason to feel. It would wear off little by little, but even my closest friends stayed away from me. After five assignments, I was pulled. I wasn't allowed to do it anymore. I was grateful. They said it was detrimental to my health and well-being. They were right." I tried not to imagine the Gibbs that was in that room being around a whole week. If I would allow myself, I knew I'd shiver, it was so close to happening already.

"I don't know how I made it out of that room a human being the other day. I don't know how I survived. I couldn't get back to that place. I detached as much as I could, but I couldn't shut it all out. I feel like I absorbed every sound, every whimper, every scream..." That did it. I shivered. If what I saw the other day _wasn't_ the detached Gibbs of his days in the Corps, then I didn't want to even consider what he was like back then. I wrapped both of my arms around him, pulling him up some so I could hold him against me.

"You couldn't detach because you were doing it for your own family. You needed to put your emotions in that room with us because it was Ziva and Tim. Our Probies. Our ninja assassin and our Elf-Lord tech god. It wasn't a random mission to get information. It was what needed to be done to break a man that would have gladly let himself die to let our family die. You did what you had to do to keep us all safe, and bring us back together, and you did it with your soul intact because you're a good person. You couldn't keep doing it in the past because you were a good person. You care. You give a damn. Even when it's the scum of the earth, you can't completely shut out other people's pain, because you're human. You didn't let it turn you. You're lying here feeling this right now, because you fought the savage- and you won, Jethro." I wasn't sure when to stop until I felt the sob break out, and Gibbs began crying against my chest openly.

I stroked his hair, and ran my hands across his back over and over again, pulling him as close to me as I could. He clung harder, and let it all escape. The rain fell hard outside, and it felt so appropriate. He finally fell asleep against my chest, emotionally exhausted. I wasn't sure how to help him other than be there for him. I kept him against me for an hour, and then my phone chimed again. I shut it up, and read the message from Ziva.

_Is Gibbs really going to let them do the interrogation?_

I closed my eyes.

_I don't think it is in anyone's best interest right now for him to be the one to break this guy. I'm happy to let someone else have our backs this time. We can't keep doing this._

She text me back a moment later.

_Are you alright, Tony?_

I was afraid I had given too much away.

_Yeah. I'm just exhausted and want to be home in my own bed with my own sheets and own blankets without the fear on my back that someone is trying to kill the most important people in my life. I'm tired of people thinking that my life and the people I care about are their sadistic playthings. The next person to try to hurt you guys is going to have to deal with *me*._

I was angry suddenly. They had driven Gibbs back into that place, and now here we were. No more. I had always believed that Gibbs protected me, and I protected the rest of the team. It was my job as SFA. Now, I had to protect him from himself, and I wasn't sure how to do it. That had me scared and pissed.

_You are not alone with these feelings Tony. Just so you know._

I took a deep breath and shook my head. I knew we all were ready to take on these bastards, and make them pay; I just had a little more incentive than they did, and he was lying on my chest having a restless dream. I put the phone down, and ran my hand through his silver hair. We were going to have our next check in any minute now.

"Jethro?" I said quietly, gentling him out of sleep. "Jethro," I said again, a little louder this time. He groaned a little then caught himself, realizing where he was and what happened to make him fall asleep. He looked up at me with sheepish eyes. I was seeing sides of him I never thought could exist, and felt privileged to get the view. I just wished to hell it wasn't under these circumstances.

"Hey," I said, knowing my smile was sad. "We're going to get a check in any time now. Figured you should be awake." He nodded, and sat up. I sat up with him, and pulled him against my shoulder. He rested his head there as he took a minute to wake up. "Want some coffee?" I asked. He nodded again, and I got up to make a fresh pot. He sat on the couch rubbing sleep off his face. The pot began to percolate, and I rejoined in him. "It will be ready soon," I said, not knowing what else to say, but desperate to hear something. He looked at me with sad eyes still.

"You don't deserve this, Tony," he said mournfully.

"None of us deserve any of this, that includes you," I said.

"I mean you don't deserve to have to put up with me," he started.

"Ohhh no, no no. You're not getting out of this that easily," I tore into him. "I am well aware of your past, and I still want you. I've been aware that you have dark secrets, that I probably still don't know anything about, for years, and I have thought long and hard about it, and yet, here we are. I finally have you, Jethro. I'm NOT giving you up. Do you understand me? You aren't going anywhere. You are going to sit right here next to me, and put up with me loving you, no matter how much self-pity you need to immerse yourself in for a while to get over this. I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me." I went off, but maintained as gentle a tone as possible. He stared back at me like I had three heads anyway. I felt a little nervous under the gaze, but stared back. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. "What?"

"You just said you loved me," he said simply.

"I..." I blushed furiously suddenly, and felt the smile win the battle for my face. "I didn't want to say it that way." I finally spit out. I managed to look at him, and found his expression was still the same. A half second later though, he had his hands around the back of my neck, and was pulling me to him in one hell of an intense kiss. There was passion, heat, and a promise that he would do anything it took to prove to me that he felt the same way I did. It shook me to the core. I had never been kissed like that in my entire life. I kissed him back with as much as I got, trying desperately to convey the same message. When he finally pulled away he rested his forehead against mine. I was out of breath, panting deeply, but I heard it clear as day when he whispered, "I love you, too, Tony." I fell back into the kiss, and it lasted just long enough to set us both on fire, but not so long that we couldn't break away.

"I'm surprised no one has called or come to check on us yet. Usually this is about the time when it happens." Gibbs laughed at my statement, but for once I didn't mean it as a joke. I took him by the hand, and led him into the kitchen, where I poured us two mugs of coffee. He let me go to drink his while I loaded mine with sugar.

A couple of drinks in, and the knock came. "They're late," I said looking at the clock. My hand went to the gun on my back. Gibbs realized I wasn't joking when he noticed that the time really was over fifteen minutes late for check in. It was probably just the rain, but we both proceeded to the door with caution. "Say it!" I shouted extra loud to be heard over the downpour.

"_The watchdog needs to eat," _I sighed with relief. I was half expecting the distress message. I still creaked the door open. It was Williams by himself. "You guys okay?" he said, standing there with a tan umbrella. I nodded.

Gibbs spoke from behind me. "Craig okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, he's just taking a dump before I get some sleep. I have the night watch tonight, and so I'll be sleeping until 11. Was trying to wait for him, but he's had so much coffee that he's going to be a while." I chuckled, looking over at the cup I had left on the counter.

"Well then, I guess we'll see you at 2300?" I asked. He nodded. "Okay, sleep well." We said our goodbyes, and then locked the door back up.

"You know, I would like there to be a time where I'm not worried about someone killing us," I said, trying to sound humorous, but not quite making it. I went back to my cup of coffee. I looked around the cabin as Gibbs joined me at the counter with his own cup. We leaned against each other's sides. "You know, this would be really nice if we weren't worried about that kind of thing. We should take a few days and get away soon."

"Really? You'd want to get away to some place like this?" he asked with surprise.

"Yeah. Can't promise I won't bring my portable DVD player or my laptop, but a few days without my cell phone would be awesome. And it is actually really pretty up here in the fall. Well, when it's not raining."

Gibbs laughed quietly at that. "I actually like the rain. Perfect weather to curl up in front of the fire."

"Ooo that sounds good! Wanna get a fire started?" I asked raising my eyebrows a little. He smirked, and shook his head. With a kiss on the cheek he walked away to start a fire for us. I sighed as I watched him go. I decided to break into the fridge again. "When we do this for fun, we definitely have to stock the fridge better. I think I'm going to make a bologna sandwich. You want one?"

"Sure," he answered. My phone rang in my pocket. It wasn't a text, but an actual call from McGee.

"Hey, McAbs. What's up?" I asked. I could practically hear Tim roll his eyes and snickered to myself. I peeked into the den and saw Gibbs shaking his head, a goofy smile on his face. The fire was starting to take, and I smiled inwardly.

"I tracked Fornell to Libya. Then I got the text from you. Now, he's on a plane back to the states. What else do we know?" He was speaking quietly.

"McSneaky, does Abby know what you know?" I could tell he was hiding from her.

"No. She's in the shower. I didn't want her to know there was a possibility this psycho was on his way to the states until I knew he was locked up safely here."

"Tim, listen." I headed for the bedroom, and spoke quietly. Gibbs didn't need to hear what I was about to say. "Fornell is probably on his way back alone. He's FBI, not CIA. He isn't allowed to partake in the methods of extracting information they were going to have to resort to. I doubt the man will make it out of the room he's in. Fornell isn't allowed to be a part of that. It has to be done by CIA or military personnel."

I could practically hear Tim nod on the other end as the light bulb went off. "That makes sense. Okay. So we should know more soon?"

"If they are careful at least," I said, thinking about how easily it would be for them to cross the line, and kill the man before he gave up the info.

"Okay. Well, let me know as soon as you know anything. I guess without tracking Fornell, I'll be out of the loop. I just wish there was something I could do."

I knew the feeling.

"Right now, Tim, your entire job is protecting Abby. Keeping her safe mentally and physically. You have to keep her mind in the happiest state possible. She isn't used to this kind of thing. She needs to know she's safe, and needs to relax. Try to see this as a vacation. It will all be over soon, and you'll look back, and wish you would have taken the time to enjoy it." I was speaking from my own experience, I realized.

"I never really thought of it like that. I'll talk to you later, Tony." We hung up, and I went back into the kitchen.

"I swear, the Probie needs to unwind a little." I put my phone down on the counter, and finished making the sandwiches. Gibbs was sitting in front of the fire with all of the pillows off the couch and chairs on the floor. The blanket was next to him in a heap.

I stopped in my tracks at the sight, and smiled. I hurried to put the mayo away, and grabbed the plate with the sandwiches, my phone and the bottles of bourbon and scotch that had made their way back into the kitchen this morning. I flopped down in front of the fire, and handed Gibbs the bourbon. I sat the plate in front of me, and turned to look at Gibbs. Once he had sat the bottle next to him and turned back towards me, I reached out and grabbed his shirt, and pulled him into a passionate kiss. I kept it short, but it said what I needed it to. "I could definitely get used to this," I said.

"You too, huh?" he said. We were leaning in close to one another, talking quietly while we at our sandwiches.

"I didn't have much in the way of demands when it came to my house," Gibbs told me between bites. "I had figured I wouldn't be spending as much time in as the girls anyway." He had brought them up again, and I was deeply touched to be let in. "I had to have a fireplace, though. It was my one non-negotiable." He stared into the fire, and I stared into his eyes, the flames reflected there. "I wanted to be able to have a fire lit for Thanksgiving and Christmas. You know, Christmas Eve, doing the whole chestnuts roasting thing." He smiled a slightly embarrassed smile. I smiled back. "It always seemed so... romantic? Special."

I felt the warmth spread through me that was carried on those words. It warmed parts of me that the fire itself never could. I laid my head on his shoulder, and stared into the fire with him. He brought his arm around me to hold me against him, and we sat like that for a long time. "We had many fireplaces in my house growing up. I don't ever remember them lit. I remember the mantels being used to display things that said, 'Hey, Look at me! I'm rich!', but I never remember there being a fire in any of them."

"That's... cold," he said honestly.

"That's why I love your house," I said just as honestly, a smile jumping to my lips. "It's so warm. Stoic sometimes, but warm. You have photos on your mantel, and meaningful things around your house. And half of the time there's a fire in that fireplace. I could sit there for hours just staring into it. Hell, I have." I snickered.

Gibbs' arm pulled me closer to him. He reached for the blanket, and put it around the both of us. We could have been so happy right there if we didn't have the huge burden of our safety over our heads. It was so nice. Gibbs opened the bourbon with one hand, took a swig, then handed me the bottle. I drank deeply as well. I preferred the scotch, but nothing said Gibbs like coffee and bourbon, so I let both flavors dance around my mouth. It was perfect.

We sat there in comfortable silence for hours, just holding each other and dozing off from time to time in one another's embrace. My phone's alarm went off at 10:45. Gibbs had managed to set it as a warning for our check in. I groaned, and pulled him back down on the pillows with me. He came, but just for a quick kiss, and then was back on his feet. He took the plates and bottles, and put them in the kitchen, letting me stay on the floor. The knock on the door came five minutes early. We both stood and went to it.

"Say it," Gibbs said.

"_The watchdog needs to eat." _

I opened the door, and Williams and Craig both stood there. "Everything good?" Craig asked, looking rather tired.

"Yeah. We're heading to bed." Gibbs said.

"You look like you should be heading there yourself Craig. You okay?" I asked.

"Sinus headache. Fall rains do that to me. I'll be fine with some Tylenol and sleep," he said with a forced smile. "See you all at the 0830 wake up call." We said our goodbyes, and locked the door behind us. I checked my phone, and finding no messages, sent a mass message to Ziva, Tim and Abby.

_Hey guys, been a long day. Heading to bed. Call me if you need anything. Hopefully we'll be able to head home tomorrow. _

Then, I sent one just to Vance.

_I wanted to let you know that we're hitting the sack for the night, but are all anxious to know right away if there's any update. Feel free to wake me. (PS, I don't want to come back until this is resolved. Thought you should know.)_

I hoped he got the message. I wanted our team out of the line of fire for this case officially. I didn't want this guy to make his way back to the states, and then have us have to deal with the aftermath. I wanted the CIA to just take care of it, take care of Tarim, and let us have our lives back. I wanted to get on to the best parts of things with Gibbs. I've had some of his worst, it was high time I deserved the good parts.  
I headed into the bedroom, and put my phone and my gun on the table next to me. I pulled the blankets back again and slipped my shirt, belt and pants off, then crawled in. I shivered against the cold blankets, and sheets. A few minutes later, the rest of the house dark, the bedroom light was turned off, and Gibbs sat his gun down on the table. I could hear him undress, and realized that in a minute we were going to be down to nothing but our skivvies under the covers together. I fought back the wave of lust that crashed against me at just the thought. This was not the time for that. My phone chimed, and I groaned, then rolled over. It was Vance.

_ Dually noted. _

I sighed in relief then rolled back over. Gibbs was under the covers with me in a heartbeat. He scooted towards me, and didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around me, tangling his legs in mine. I tangled myself back in him, and sighed into his neck. We held each other fiercely, and I fell asleep like that happily.


	4. Chapter 4

_Hey folks! Here's the next chapter. Hope you like it! There's more coming that will include the more M-rated stuff. Stay tuned! Thanks for all the love you've shown for this one! Reviews, faves and follows are awesome! Y'all rock!_

_This is unbetaed, just so ya know. All of those pesky mistakes and such are mine!_

Chapter Four: Relief

The phone went off in the morning at 0700 to prepare us for our wake up call. I hit the snooze again, and Gibbs and I snuggled against each other, still tangled from the night before. I saw the slight curl at the edge of Jethro's lips, and wondered if he always woke up smiling like that, or if it was because of us. I knew I rarely woke up with a smile. I figured it had to be even rarer for him to do it.

I was anxious to get on with the day, despite everything. I wanted us to be heading home together, getting back into our own places, and then coming back to Gibbs' to curl up in his bed with him, and sleep for days. I was tempted to go take the morning wakeup call myself, and then go back to sleep. I knew that Gibbs was already on the verge of awake though, and he wouldn't want to sleep the day away.

I felt his hands brushing the hair out of my face as my eyes closed in resignation to the idea that it was a new day. His touch made me smile despite myself. It was just so gentle, tender, loving, and unlike anything I expected. My eyes opened, and I knew they were hazy, as I was feeling touch-drunk. I meant to say _Good morning_, (I swear!) but what came out was, "I love you, Jethro."

His eyes widened in a way that made my chest pound. I couldn't quite read the expression on his face. It could've been so many things... worry, surprise, hope, anxiety, frustration, anger... They softened quickly though, and the only thing they held was love. His smile grew. "I love you too, Tony." I let out my breath, and smiled again as he continued. "I don't know why you want me, but I'm grateful to whatever God there may be that you do."

I let my forehead fall against his, and leaned down to kiss him.

"You know, this might sound crazy, but I think we are going to be really good for each other," I started. "We already know each other pretty well. We care about the same things, or at least- the big things. We understand the whole work thing. I mean, who else would hide out in a cabin in the woods with you for a few days to keep a psycho terrorist and his cronies from killing them? No one that could be as understanding as me!" That made him laugh, and my stomach flipped over on itself at the sight of his genuine smile. "And really Jethro, who else could possibly learn to _enjoy_ coffee as strong as you take it? With a little help of course. I have found the recipe though!" He pulled me closer to him, and kissed me softly, just once.

"Tony, you know me better than my three ex-wives, my best friend and my father put together. You just... understand me like no one else has been able to, ever. I don't know why I didn't realize we could be _this_ sooner. I know I'm probably going to mess it up about a dozen times, and be a complete ass pretty much on a weekly basis, but I also know that you'll understand why I do when I do, know how to handle me, put me back in my place and we'll move on, because you always do. Not to mention, I know you'll drive me crazy some days with your insecurities, and you'll want to go do things that will inevitably make me jealous, but you won't mind the arguments because it will show that I care. Hell, eventually you'll probably provoke them. And I know you'll put your foot in your mouth constantly because you can't keep it shut, and sometimes I'll get pissed for a while, and then sometimes I'll laugh, because it's just you."

I was in shock. "You've really been thinking about this," I said. I felt glued to him. I couldn't move. He had given this serious consideration- the type of consideration that spoke of a long future together. I couldn't believe he had been thinking that far into the relationship. I blinked again and again, thinking that eventually, one of those blinks would land me back on earth, where I was asleep on my desk at work, and waking up to find that this had all been a wonderful nightmare.

"Yeah. I've had a lot of time to think the past couple of days," he said, smiling that shy smile that melts me down. I was growing really fond of timid Gibbs; I was going to keep him.

"Hopefully we'll have time to think about this at home soon," I said, wishing we were having this conversation in my own bed. I missed my sheets, and the safety of my place, or better yet, Gibbs' place.

He nodded and sighed, leaning against me again. We lay there another five long minutes, and then gave up and got up.

Showers were gotten, breakfast was eaten and we were standing at the door waiting when the knock came. We got the check-in out of the way, and I began texting everybody under the sun for an update. I even text Fornell, but got nothing good. He was back in the States, and was indeed being kicked out of the interrogation process. I was happy for him, but he didn't seem so grateful.

I shrugged it off, and asked Tim how Abby was doing. Then, I asked Abby how Tim was doing. Both backed each other up, saying that Tim had given up his sleuthing for the evening after we talked, and just played cards and rested. I smiled to myself. I was pretty sure they were having a weekend as realizing as Jethro and mine. That made me happy. I liked the idea of the two of them together, for good. (I always was a helpless romantic at heart.)

I looked at the man in the kitchen drinking his coffee and reading a book he had found on a shelf. I liked the idea of being with him for good, too. He looked so cute in his glasses that I put the phone down, and watched him read while I drank my own coffee. It was enough to ground me, while making me soar at the same time. I felt as tall as the trees when I thought of what he said earlier, and how permanent he made it sound. I also felt just as deeply rooted. It was the best feeling of my life. I had spent so much time afraid of commitment, and now, I was looking forward to it. I enjoyed watching him for the rest of the morning until the next check in. It was a great way to spend the morning. The view here was amazing.

The knock came, and the usual exchange happened. We opened the door to find the entire crew there: two agents, two marshals, and Tim with Abby clinging to him. I was suddenly very glad that we hadn't done anything since we woke up. Abby would be able to smell the hormones in the air. She's perceptive like that. I could tell Gibbs was thinking the same thing behind me.

"Everything okay?" Gibbs asked.

"Yeah, Gibbs. Just getting a little cabin fever," Abby said, and bounced into the room past us. Tim followed her with a smug smile. I knew right away what that smug smile was. I'm pretty sure I was wearing one too, and I knew Gibbs was. The agents at the door looked in.

Gibbs looked back at the four men standing outside. "Two out, two in." he said in his usual Gibbs tone. The agents stepped in immediately. Gibbs smirked as they closed the door on the marshals without a second thought. Family was family, right?

The cabin was small for six people, but we all found places to sit. Abby handed Tim a cup of coffee, and sat on the arm of the chair he sat in. "You guys want some of Gibbs' sludge?" I asked the agents.

"Don't do it Jameson! If Gibbs is drinking it, it's toxic," Williams warned. Everyone laughed but Gibbs, who just smiled into his mug.

"It's okay; I've had enough coffee over the past few days to keep me awake for a week. Now, if only I had something for my stomach!" He came back with.

"Well, hopefully we'll be able to head home at some point today, right?" Abby asked anxiously, finally getting to why she had drug Tim over to their cabin.

"I'm really hoping so Abby," I said. "This has been one hell of an experience, but I think I'm ready for twenty-four hours rest in my own nice comfy bed, with my..." Gibbs suddenly started choking on his coffee. We all turned to look at him as he got to his feet coughing, making his way towards the kitchen for a towel. "Okay there, Boss?" I asked, wondering what set that off.

Abby and Tim turned around to watch him in the kitchen hacking a lung up while pounding on his chest, holding his hand up to ward off Abby's advance, and nodding. "I'm-(cough, cough) fine. Wrong (cough cough) pipe's all."

Williams' concern fell into an uneasy smile. "Jeez, Gibbs, careful there. We didn't come all this way for you to die choking on your swill." Tim and I exchanged a look at the joke with a rueful smile. Gibbs very well may go that way one day. It was just as likely as him dying from a gunshot wound. That made my stomach tie itself into a knot suddenly, and it was immediately evident on my face. Tim looked at me with concern, leaning forward. I faked a smile.

"Be back in a few," I said, and got up to hide in the bathroom, trying to pass off my sudden discomfort as that kind of problem. Once behind closed doors though, I leaned heavily on the sink's counter. My stomach was flipping back and forth, and my eyes were suddenly swimming. The idea of one day losing Gibbs in any fashion had hit me hard.

We had a dangerous job, and obviously, we had always been concerned about each other's welfare because of it. This was different though. We were together now. We were starting a... a relationship. I had no idea what was going to come of it. We could try our best, and still not succeed. I didn't believe that, but it could happen. He or I could be shot, or worse, in the line of duty. He could choke on his coffee, or have an accident building a boat, or... I shook my head. I had to pull myself together. I knew what the dangers of this were long before I got into it.

I always believed that if you celebrate your life, live every bit of it, as best as you could, enjoy it and make it what you wanted it, then you could die without regret. Like a hangover after the incredible party the night before, some things were just worth it. I would just make sure that every bit of life Gibbs and I were given together would be as wonderful as we could make it, and one day, when one of us hit the end of our road, we'd leave the other with the best memories a lifetime could be made of.

I struggled to get the redness out of my eyes, rinsing my face with a couple of handfuls of water. I was glad the rest of our team had come to visit. It forced me to deal with the real world a little before we were actually released back into it as a couple. I opened the door, ready to face some more of it.

Gibbs was still standing in the kitchen, but Abby had moved back to the living room, and had the three other men deep in conversation. Gibbs looked up at me with concern. I just smiled, and shook my head barely at him to let him know everything was okay. He nodded back, and I was pretty sure he was blushing.

"Any coffee left?" I asked, approaching the pot to find it full.

"Mmmhmm," he said.

"Ah, fresh poison," I said to it with jestering affection. "How I love thee," I said stealing a glance up at Gibbs who had turned to me with a smile on his face at my undercover flirt.

"It asked to be made, just for you," he joked. I laughed at his attempt to play my game. He sucked at it.

I poured my mug, and looked in the cabinet for the sugar. It wasn't there. I found it sitting on the counter on the other side of Gibbs, strategically placed so I would have to reach across him for it. "Excuse me," I said quietly as I reached for it, breathing him in deeply, immediately intoxicated by his constant smell of coffee, sawdust and something that was just perfectly Gibbs.

"Oh, sorry." he said, moving a little out of my way so I could reach it, and be snapped back to reality before I attracted unwanted attention. Okay, so maybe he was better at the game than I thought. I smiled to myself, but didn't look at him. I knew any more affection beyond what we were already showing would give us away. It was kind of ironic that we came out here with these people to protect us from a terrorist with a grudge, and now we were protecting what _felt_ like an even bigger secret from all of them. I was starting to prefer the idea of taking on the terrorist. At least he couldn't make things any worse for us simply by knowing we were in love.

I started with three spoons of sugar before stirring, tasting and adding another. I heard Gibbs soft snicker into his coffee as he must have witnessed the addition. I wanted to shoot him a look, but I knew I had to go into undercover mode; cut the tie for a little bit. I left him standing in the kitchen, and headed back to the living room to park it next to Abby on the couch. "So what have you guys being doing to keep busy, McGeek?" I asked with a cheeky smile, sipping on my coffee.

"Besides tracking down whatever I could about our killer and the team hunting them down? Not much. Cards, conversation, cereal. You know; the usual. What about you guys? I'm surprised Gibbs hasn't killed you yet," he said, just as sassy as I had asked him. Gibbs chuckled in the next room, and moved to join the conversation.

"You kidding me, McGee? I couldn't kill him. Who would I have to abuse? And how would I explain that? _I'm sorry your honor, the 5,000th movie reference just... well, it just happened to be said while I was cleaning my gun." _

We all laughed. He seemed so different with the group all of a sudden. It made the warmth spread through me like he had just put another log on my fire. "Aww! Boss, you'd really let me get to 5,000? If only I had known..." I said looking dreamily into the distance, a mock hand over my heart.

The laughter continued. It was good to hear after how overwhelming the past couple of weeks had been, especially Abby's almost innocent giggle. I had been worried about how she was taking all of this. I know how much she's been through in life, and then to turn around and go through what she's made it through with our team... multiple attempts on her life, our lives, being stalked... it was a lot. She was resilient with the right kind of care and attention. Looked to me like Tim was making sure she got it. He couldn't take his eyes off of her, and I caught her staring back many times over the next twenty minutes.

Gibbs had begun putting a fire together to take the rainy fall chill outta the air. Jameson and Williams easily fell into the conversations and stories we told. It was almost forgotten that we were hanging out together in this place to thwart a vengeful murderer. I checked my phone to make sure I hadn't missed a message, but there was nothing. I was tempted to send one, but there wasn't much to say until we got the word Tarim had been broken.

I was finding it really hard not to watch Gibbs as he sat by the fire. I tried to talk it up with our watchdogs to distract myself. "So, how did you guys get stuck with this detail?" I asked.

Jameson's face fell as he considered, and Williams was worse, closing his eyes. I had just subdued the room without meaning to. Even Gibbs turned around to see what was happening. "We volunteered," Williams offered. "McKinsley was my partner, and Samuels was Jameson's." Everyone silently found some place to stare off into while they rehashed the other morning. Gibbs stared back into the fire, and I stared at Gibbs. Tim stared out the window, and Abby into her hands. The men across the room found points in front of them on the wall and carpet.

Gibbs face was suddenly so sad, and I realized he was thinking about Mike. It only made sense- I kept thinking of Kate. We were bound that way. I took a deep breath, and my head fell back onto the couch. "God, I miss you Kate," I whispered. I could feel Abby shift on the couch to lie against me. I put my arm around her.

"I'm really going to miss Justin. We hardly ever found time to hang out, but when we did, he was such a sweet and funny guy," she said into my side.

"Yeah, and he always bought your first round," I said with a sad smile, looking down at her, then across at Williams. "I'm really sorry, for both of your losses." I looked over at Jameson.

"Yeah, Samuels could be a prick, but he was loyal. Had a lot of common sense. Could always depend on him, and he worked things out pretty quickly. Put the pieces together well, yanno?" Jameson said quietly. "We'd only been partners for a couple of years. I'd lost my last partner in a case that got him wrapped up in a mission in Iraq. I figured Samuels would stick though. We worked well together."

Williams was really quiet, staring down at the carpet in front of him. Tim looked at Abby against me, and I could tell he was wondering what he would do if he lost her. They were the closest thing to a partner the other had. I looked him straight in the eyes for a moment, feeling the understanding transmitting between us. I looked away though to stare at Gibbs again. He looked lost in sad thought. I just wanted to hold him. I was about to get up and move to the kitchen just to move, when Williams voice broke the near silence.

"Justin was my best friend." I froze. We all did. His voice was so sad, but not beaten. Gibbs turned to stare at him, taking it in. He continued slowly, just staring at a spot on the floor. "He... he was the brother I never had, and more. We learned so much from each other. He took my head from the rafters when I needed it, and I did my best to let him know that there was more to life than the job. Hell, I introduced him and Jenny. I was his best man in his wedding. I was there at his side at his Dad's funeral. We'd been partners for seven years. I don't know what's next for me. We had been alternating that morning. I was coming to relieve him."

I realized that I was staring at Gibbs again, when he finally turned to stare at me. We locked eyes, and I didn't give a damn who saw. "You guys remind me a lot of us. Family, so important to each other... I wasn't going to let his death be in vain," Williams said with a voice gaining conviction. Gibbs kept staring straight back. Tim joined us on the couch, arm wrapping around Abby as she fell into him crying. Gibbs and I just kept staring. We were each other's family.

We sat for a long time in silence. The rain had started outside again, and the marshals outside knocked at the door, dragging us all out of our impromptu memorial service. I got to my feet, finally breaking eye contact with Gibbs. He got to his feet and followed me.

"Say it," I said, barely loud enough.

"The watchdogs need to eat," one of the marshals replied.

I opened the door to find them both standing there under one umbrella. "I'm moving to the car, and Taylor is moving back to the porch across the way. Figured we should get back to our postings." Williams and Jameson were moving past us almost immediately, and Abby and Tim made their way past with them, Abby making sure to hug us both tightly before she left.

"If you don't mind guys," I asked, "Could we just do the late check in? I need a nap."

Williams nodded, sending Craig back to their cabin until then.

I closed the door, and turned to Gibbs. Not waiting for a reaction, I grabbed his hand, pulling him to the bedroom. I moved to his side of the bed, and pulled the blankets back. I crawled in, across to my side, pulling him down with me. As soon as we were in the bed together, I tangled myself with him, holding him to me as hard as I could, and he held me even tighter.

I finally couldn't hold it in anymore. It started with some light tears, but within seconds it was a heaving, sobbing, mess of emotion pouring out of me harder than the rain outside. Jethro kissed my cheek, neck and top of my head, running his hands comfortingly up and down my back and through my hair. I laid there and cried for over an hour against him.

I cried for the loss of Justin, the loss of Kate, the loss of Mike, the sad life that brought Ziva to us, the distance Jethro and I had put between ourselves with our friends just now, the horrible sadness in Williams' eyes as he said_, I don't know what I'm going to do now_. I cried for the fear that I could lose everybody that meant everything, the only thing that means anything to me, in a moment as quick as the other morning. I cried for the pain Gibbs had taken on to lead our team, our family, and for his painful past that had kept us apart for so long. I cried for us both- for all of it. For every head-slap that meant so much, for the four months away and so alone as Agent Afloat, for Jenny Shepherd and for Danny. I cried for the ignorance of the former Sec Nav and the necessary betrayal of Agent Lee. I cried for Tim as he found out Penny wasn't perfect and the many reasons for Abby's constant need for affection. I cried for the loss of EJ's team and her sad life in hiding. I cried because of what this job had done to us, could do to us, and would do to us. And when I was finished crying, I opened my eyes and stared back at the man I loved, and knew that I wouldn't trade it for anything.

For as much pain as this job causes us, it produces ten times that in good things. The fulfillment in catching the bad guy, ripping a confession out of him or her that could save someone's life or give a family closure. The unlocking of secrets, putting pieces of the puzzle together, and not just the cases, but the ultimate puzzle. Each member of my team was a piece of my family, a piece of my happiness, and each one lended themselves to being a piece of the journey that had made me, me, and brought me to this place. These people that have come into my life have given me more than anyone in my family ever had emotionally. The laughter, the joy, the camaraderie, the sense that I'm not alone, ever, knowing that I can always call on them. They have brought me hope when I didn't believe in it, backed me up when I didn't deserve it, and loved me when I couldn't remember what it felt like. And now, I had Jethro. I had a new type of partner- the type that I could really strip my layers off with until I'm honestly naked. The type that I felt safe enough to love with everything in me, because I believed that I was being loved in return. I would never be alone again.

I drifted off into a deep sleep, being held, and loved like I had never been in my entire life.

I woke up to Gibbs kissing my forehead, then my cheek, then my jaw until finally, I was half awake and he was stealing my lips. It was dark in the room. I opened my eyes for a moment, realized the futility of it, and closed them again, succumbing to the joy of the darkness. Gibbs' lips were against mine, tender and hungry. He had one hand on my hip, and the other around the back of my head, fingers grasping my hair. I parted my lips and let him enter, kissing him back with the same tender passion. The rest of the world completely faded away as I let myself drown in the ecstasy. I felt like everywhere his now roaming hands touched, was burning. I could barely breathe, but I would die happy if I was to go that way.

Our lips broke as he moved his kisses back up my jawline, and then to my ear, where they stopped. His voice raspy, he whispered into it, warm breath setting my hairs on end. "I love you, Tony." I shivered from head to toe and leaned into him, moaning a little with the incredible sensation.

"God, I love you, Jethro," I whispered, eyes opening, desperate to see his own blue eyes in the dark. I still couldn't make out more than just a general shape of his face. The sun must have set, and the bedroom door was closed. There were no lights on in the house, and we were out in the middle of nowhere. The darkness heightened the sensuality of the moment, and I wanted to be much, much closer to him. I wanted to feel our skin against one another, fire against fire. I slid my hand up his hip, and started to move up under his shirt, when his strong hand grabbed mine to stop it.

"We can't, Tony. Check in is in twenty minutes." I groaned loudly in frustration, and then heard his voice again in the darkness. "Trust me, I really, really want to. And I promise, we will very soon, but you know we can't yet."

I groaned again, and fell against him. "You can't start something like that and expect me to behave! I'm not good at that Jethro!" He laughed softly, and kissed me gently. We laid against each other in silence for a long moment.

"I don't know if I've ever felt like this. I don't know if I've ever truly been in love, because all of the things I ever thought were love, could not compare to what is going through me right now," I said. I had felt some really profound feelings for Jean, but they never shook me to the core like this. It felt like being turned inside out, only to find out that what was on the inside was what was supposed to be revealed your entire life, but wasn't.

Gibbs moaned very quietly. "If you had any idea what hearing you say that does to me, you would deserve a head slap. I'll let you off the hook this time though."

I groaned, and fell back on my back and out of him embrace. "I can't be this close to you anymore. I'm going to go take a shower. Most likely, a cold one." I got up to get out of bed, and as I opened the door to the living room, enough light fell into the room so that I could finally see the man lying on the bed, a look of frustrated surprise on his face. "Yep. A shower. A _naked shower."_ I taunted, and watched him fall back on the bed with another groan. I jumped in the shower without waiting for the water to warm up. It didn't do the trick entirely, but ten minutes later, thinking the whole time about the most disgusting things possible, I was limp enough to pass in my sweats.

I came out of the bathroom to find that Gibbs was talking on my cell. I walked over to him, and he held up the phone so I could see the caller ID. It was Vance. It was the first time that he had called us instead of texting us. I was a little surprised that he could figure out how to answer the smartphone. He still had his trusty flip. I tried to hear Vance's side of the conversation, considering Gibbs wasn't one to talk much, therefore not the best to eavesdrop on. I wondered if it would still be considered eavesdropping when it was your own phone.

He smiled a crooked smile, and then finally spoke something other than grunts. "Yeah, I'm sure they'll all be happy to be heading home, Leon. I know I am."

I shout a big "Woohoo!" at the top of my lungs, and jumped up from the chair I had just sat down in. Gibbs laughed, and said his goodbye before handing me the phone. "Hang this damn thing up, will ya?" he said, barely frustrated at all.

"Sure thing! We going home, Gibbs?" I asked, my arms already finding their way to him to pull him close.

"Yup."

"So what happened?" I asked.

"Tarim had begun gathering another group of men to come overseas to take us out. They were intercepting them today. That's why there wasn't any info. They were a little busy. They got them all though, and we're free to go home." He rested his head on my shoulder, I wrapped my arms around him tightly. "And by home, Tony, I mean my house," he said, holding me tightly against him.

"Jethro, as amazing as that sounds, your house may still be considered a crime scene. Maybe we should crash at my place tonight, and then tomorrow we can go clean up your house, and stay there tomorrow night." I said in his ear, still wrapped around him, hand moving through his hair gently as I spoke to let him know I wasn't deflecting, but meaning what I said.

"Tonight? Tomorrow?"

"Well, yeah. If we can go home, I wanna head back NOW." I said, pulling away from him to look into his eyes.

His smile was genuine and warm, and it was just for me. I melted like a little school girl.

"Why don't we go tell everyone, and see if they have the energy to head back tonight. Maybe our team can head back, and let the watchdogs sleep tonight." he said.

"Ummm... do you really want to spend four hours in a car with Abby right now? I mean, the woman can smell pheromones a million miles away, and she's weirdly gifted with reading people. I'm pretty sure she'll figure us out ten minutes into the ride home," I said, arms still around him.

"Well, we're going to have to tell them eventually, and I'd rather tell them before they figure it out." Gibbs face turned pink in front of me, barely able to hold back the shy smile behind what he was saying.

"Wow. Are you really willing to tell them so soon? I mean, I have wanted to shout how much I need you in my life from the rooftops for years now, but I never thought you'd want to be so open about it all," I said bewildered, but pleasantly surprised.

He smiled, and leaned in for a kiss that literally took my breath away. He finally pulled away, leaving both of us panting, and leaning his forehead against mine. "You may not have ever felt real love before, but I have. I know this feeling, and now that I am lucky enough to have it again, I'm not letting it go."

I felt a delicious warmth spread through my entire body, and I shook and shivered twice. I let the words and the desperation in his voice pull me closer to him on an entirely new level. "Jethro, take me home. Please," I whispered, lost in the raw moment.

"Let's call Abby and Tim. We'll tell everyone we're leaving, and we'll tell them about us on the way home." I could only nod, lost in those beautiful blue eyes and strong arms. I felt perfectly safe suddenly. I didn't have to worry about anyone trying to kill me, and I was in Gibbs' protective embrace. I didn't want to leave his arms, but I wanted to be lost in that embrace in my own bed more. I kissed him gently, and then let go to call Abby and Tim. Gibbs went to the door, and told Samuels to go get everyone.

Not even five minutes later, everyone was back in our cabin. I had already packed up everything, and it was waiting by the door. I even packed the leftover Rice Krispies. It didn't take me long, seeing as there wasn't much there to pack. Gibbs opened the door, and shuffled everyone inside. "We have been given the clear. We can go home," he said before they could even find seats. "I'm going to take my team back to DC. You guys can stay here tonight and rest up if you want, or you can take the other car back tonight. Whatever you prefer. We have to get back tonight though." I walked in and stood next to him, squeezing his shoulder before I could think about it. I prayed it was ambiguous enough to not give us away yet. I couldn't stop myself. His scent made me giddy, and filled me with an overwhelming need to touch him.

I needed to thank the men that had been there for through all for this. "I think I speak for all of us when I say thank you for everything this week. What you guys have done for us, given up for us," I made eye contact with Williams and Jameson as I said that, "will never be forgotten. It was beyond duty. It means a lot to us all." Abby and Tim shook their heads up and down slowly.

"You guys are amazing. Really. If we can ever do anything for you..." Abby said. Gibbs and I both nodded to the statement.

"Don't hesitate to ask," Gibbs finished.

The men all nodded. Williams looked back and forth between Gibbs and I, and I saw this look of realization come over his face, and I knew that he had just realized that we were more than team leader and SFA. It wasn't a bad dawning, it was just an astonished one. I stared back into his wide-eyed gaze to convey the secrecy of the matter. I had a feeling we'd be hearing from him soon, though. I was really glad he was standing furthest back of the group.

"Well, I think we should go discuss our own travel arrangements then." Craig said, and hands were shaken all around. Abby gave out matching hugs before promising she and Tim would be back in fifteen minutes with their stuff. Their cabin fever had peaked that day, and they were anxious to get home too.

I was getting nervous about the conversation we would be having on the way home before the door even closed. As soon as it clicked shut, I felt Gibbs wrap his arms around my waist and kiss my neck, leaving his head on my shoulder. "It's going to be okay, Tony," he said gently. I knew it was, but it was just such a big deal. Three days ago, we showed up here, all of us separate, and we were going home two couples.

"It's just so... sudden," I said, and then a gleeful smile broke out across my face. "Sudden. Sudden! Ten years in the making, and I call it sudden." I laughed, and Gibbs did too. I loved the feeling of laughter going through his chest as he held me against him. I turned in his embrace, and kissed him deeply, knowing I wouldn't have the chance to for hours. I made sure it was worth it. I tried to pull away, and Gibbs' mouth came with mine as he was unwilling to part. It made me smile into his mouth, but he wouldn't let go. Finally, I fell backwards over the arm of the couch, and onto it. Gibbs tumbled forward, and caught himself before he crushed me. We both laughed hard, and he tried to help me up.

We had just separated, still laughing and gasping for air, when Abby and Tim came back through the door without knocking. They were surprised by how jovial we were. "You guys seem to be... well happy. What's going on?" Tim asked. Abby was staring at us already trying to work out what was happening in her head.

"Why does something have to be going on, McGoo?" I asked, blushing furiously and looking at Gibbs for some direction. He looked back a little embarrassed suddenly, and bright pink.

"Maybe you guys should sit down a minute," he said pointing to the couch. I went to go stand next to him, knowing this was a moment of truth that neither of us would have ever thought we'd be confronting.

Tim and Abby sat on the couch, right up against each other, Abby practically in Tim's lap.

I don't know if it was nervous energy or what, but I started talking as soon as I saw their closeness. "We know that you guys are... well... together. And we want you to know that we think it's great, and about damn time, and I'm sure Tim is going to get the Gibbs' death threat one day soon when he gets you all alone, in an elevator or something, but really, we're both happy for you... we just hope that you'll be happy for us... too." I said in one long breath.

Gibbs reached down and took my hand, and I felt like I was going to explode at the sudden release of tension as his fingers interlaced with mine. I exhaled sharply, and looked up at him. He stared back at me, a genuine smile on his face with not only love, but pride in it. That look could tell anyone who saw it what it meant. It alone announced to the world that he was in love with me. For a moment, I forgot anyone else was in the room, until suddenly Abby squealed and was on her feet, pulling us both in for a sharp hug.

"Uhoo!" I gasped as Gibbs let out his own "Umphff!" encountering the embrace.

"That is so incredible you guys!" she bellowed in our ears. "I mean, totally hot, and totally sweet! It just seems perfect! I can't believe you both were willing to, like, be open with this, cause you know Tony, you're hide like everything from the world, and Gibbs hides from the world in the middle of everything, but you guys did, and I'm just so proud of you both!" She squealed again, and I looked over her shoulder at McGee's expression as he stood in front of the couch. It was shocked, a little hurt, but despite both, open.

"You okay with this Tim?" I asked quietly as he stepped towards us. Abby let me go, but held on to Gibbs as she made room for Tim.

"Well, yeah! Of course! I just thought..." he started, and then the hurt was a little more at the front of things.

"What? That I was just, uber-straight or something?" I asked.

"Well no, not really. Honestly, I kinda always thought you were hiding this sorta thing, but I'm just kind of hurt you didn't tell me, since you know, I told you about Abby and all." Gibbs looked over at me with a bit of surprise.

"Aw, Tim. I wanted to. I already figured Abby was just as into you as you were into her. I didn't think in a million years that I'd ever have a chance with Jethro. I didn't tell _anyone_, at all, but I wanted to tell you," I said, and I meant it to. That night he told me about Abby, I wanted more than anything to just let it all out. I knew Tim wouldn't judge, considering he wasn't perfectly straight himself.

"I get it. I do. And I'm happy for you both. Wow, this is going to be awkward at work," he said, and we all laughed as he pulled me into a man hug.

Abby turned to Gibbs then. "Does he get to call you Jethro at work? 'Cause I gotta tell you, that's one thing that will just make me gush every time I hear it." Gibbs rolled his eyes.

"This CANNOT leave the team. You guys know that. Work and personal will have to stay separate- painfully separate. For you two, it doesn't really matter, though you know what I expect of you. For us..." he looked so sad for a moment, and looked at me.

"Besides the obvious male on male in a military related agency issues," I continued, "we are boss and subordinate. If they find out, one of us will have to change teams. So... silencio. We'll tell Ziva, Ducky, Palmer, but outside of our little family, there's nothing. Got it?" I looked poignantly at Abby.

The rest of the group nodded solemnly, even Gibbs.

"Now, about you two!" I started, and gave Tim a shoulder thunk. "What's going on there?" Tim blushed, and Gibbs let Abby go.

"We can talk in the car. I wanna get home people," he said and went to grab our bags. I took mine from him in by the doorway, and we locked the doorknob on the darkened cabin behind us.

We talked for a while in the car about Tim and Abby's relationship. They had it as bad as Gibbs and I did. As they told their story, Gibbs reached over and took my hand, lacing our fingers together. I felt so happy. I couldn't ever remember feeling so happy, so complete.

About forty minutes into the ride, Abby fell asleep against Tim in the back seat. I watched his expression in the side mirror. He looked not only happy, but more confident than I had ever seen him. It was incredible how much love could change a person.

Gibbs was completely different in a relationship, but still the same. He was still him, just open, and talkative, and sometimes even tender. It made it so much more special knowing that I was the only one that got that side of him. Abby got a little, and I had always felt a twinge of happy jealousy for her, but now, I got all that plus more.

We drove in silence for another hour until we had to stop for gas. I headed inside to pay the clerk. I grabbed a couple of waters, three coffees and a RedBull for Abby. (No CafPow!s here unfortunately.) I sugared mine up, and added flavored creamer. I got a handful of Splenda for McGee, and a couple of each flavored creamer. Of course, I made sure Gibbs' was the darkest of the three different pots they had available. Some packs of nuts, a bag of jerky, the big pack of Twizzlers for Abby and I to share, some cheese danishes and an apple made its way back to the car with me.

"I got us some road trip provisions," I said as I made my way into the car. Gibbs looked at the tray of coffees like a junkie craving his fix.

"Oh, please say that's for me." I took the cup with the different lid and handed it to him.

"I hope it doesn't suck," I said with a small chuckle.

"I don't even care. I'd drink it with sugar at this point." He leaned forward and gave me a quick peck. "Thanks."

I smiled at him, and taking mine out of the tray, handed it back to McGee, who was staring at us. When he didn't take it, I turned towards him. "Okay there, MickeyGee?"

"Yeah. Sorry. Just really gonna take some getting used to that." He smiled sheepishly, and took the coffee out of the tray. Abby stirred against him.

"Timmy? Where are we?" Abby asked, leaning on him as she tried to sit up.

"We just stopped for gas, honey. It's okay. You can sleep still."

"Okay," she said, then kissed him on the cheek before she fell back against him, snuggling him and he snuggled her back with a smile. Gibbs and I had watched the entire exchange with interest. I felt that giddy feeling in my chest for them. Gibbs looked at them like Tim had just looked at us.

"Seems like you're not the only one," I said under my breath, and Gibbs realized he had been staring.

I handed McGee the Splenda. He smiled, probably surprised that I remembered he preferred it over sugar. "Got creamer too. There's Hazelnut, Mocha, Irish Cream and Vanilla," I said quietly.

"I'll take the vanilla," he said, dumping the Splenda into his coffee, careful not to disturb the already sleeping Abby. I handed back three vanilla creamers, and then opened the bag of goodies.

"I got nuts, jerky, Twizzlers, danishes, and an apple," I told them. Gibbs reached into the bag, and started fumbling around for something. He seemed unconcerned that the bag was in my lap, but I realized it right away. "Hey there, mister! What are you looking for before you find something you didn't intend to?"

McGee choked on his coffee in the backseat, waking Abby up thoroughly. "What's going on?" she mumbled.

"Nothing!" Gibbs said, and I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe.

"Inappropriate rummaging in the front seat," Tim joked when he could breathe again.

"Damn! I miss all the good stuff!" Abby said.

"Want some Twizzlers Abs?" I asked, handing Gibbs a danish. He took it, opened it, and started the car.

"Maybe in a bit," she said looking exhausted.

"You should get some more sleep Abby. We won't be there for another two hours." I suggested. She nodded, and fell against Tim again. I reached back, and handed the apple to Tim. He took it with another surprised smile. I had once stolen an apple intended for him. He had found out, and since then, the apples were my own little joke with him.

We rode the rest of the way home in quiet, pleasant conversation, trying not to talk about work. It was really nice to hear Gibbs talk about something other than cases and painful memories. We got updates on Leyla and Amira, found out a little bit about Fornell, heard about Sarah's most recent visit to D.C., and what she's been doing since graduation. It was nice. It finally turned to how we were going to tell Ziva, Ducky and Palmer about our two relationships. We decided we would get them all down in Abby's lab and lock the door Thursday morning. It was going on 0400 on Wednesday morning now.

I fell asleep against the window, hand still locked with Gibbs. When I woke up, we were approaching the city, and Gibbs was asking Tim if he was taking them to his apartment or Abby's. Tim decided on his since Abby was still asleep, and he wasn't sure where her keys were. Gibbs nodded and I sat up, yawning. He smiled at me, and I squeezed his hand. I felt sappy, but I didn't give damn.

"I think you left some drool on the window there, DiNozzo," Gibbs joked with me.

"Yeah, probably. You jealous, Gibbs?" I asked, playfully firing his last name back like he had used mine. He just chuckled. Tim began waking Abby in the back seat as we pulled down his street. She sat up, rubbing her yes. McGee explained where they were. She smiled and nodded, then leaned against him while she woke up. It really was adorable. I allowed myself the sentiment, and smiled as I stared out the window, thinking about their coupling.

They said their goodbyes, and slid out of the car to get their stuff from the trunk. A few minutes later we were heading towards my apartment. I smiled, thinking about our conversation earlier. I knew that he would want to stay at my place if I offered it. His house had some really strong memories right now; memories we didn't need to think about until we got some serious sleep.

"Is it just me, or are they almost as cute as we are?" I asked, my mischief bubbling up to the surface.

"Ahh. _Cute_." Gibbs said "cute" like it was a curse. "I don't know if anyone but Abby will ever call us that. Or, at least, get away with calling us that," he said with a smirk.

"Aw, come on Jethro! You don't think we're cute?" I laughed, unable to hold back under my own humor.

"I'd head slap you if I didn't have to let go of your hand," he retorted, his own mischief shining in his eyes.

"Now see! That's what I'm talking about. And you know, I don't give a damn what it's called. It could be cute, sweet, playful, sappy... Whatever the hell it is, I love it, and it had better never stop."

The smiling blue eyes found mine as we approached a red light. "I don't want it to stop either," he said softly. The light turned green, and a few minutes later, we were making our way up into my apartment. I had my bag and the duffle over my shoulders, my keys in my hand. As soon as we were over the threshold and the door was closed, our bags hit the floor, and I dragged Gibbs by the hand into the bedroom.

I didn't spend any time with foolish things like setting alarms or turning off phones. I took the gun out of my back, and put it in the nightstand, leaving the drawer open for Jethro to put his own in. The phones were chucked in too, and we crawled into bed. I pulled myself closer to the firm body next to me, and we wrapped around each other, relishing in the comfort or being home together. A few sweet kisses, and a couple of deep sighs later, and we were thoroughly entangled and deeply asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

_I know this one was a long time in the making, but I'm hoping you'll find it worth it. Things finally progress, in the M-Rated way ;) Hope this makes up for how long I made y'all wait! _

_Thanks for all of the reviews! I appreciate every single one of them!_

Chapter 5: Joined

A little over five hours later, I woke up with that wonderfully warm feeling that you get on a sunny morning that has taken your room and turned it into a greenhouse. I had gone to sleep without pulling the curtains shut that normally kept that from happening on the rare chance I got to sleep in. I didn't mind it this morning, though. I had slept well, and I still had Gibbs against me. I was waking up with a smile again, and deep inside of me, I felt like it was the start of something bright and new in my life.

I hadn't felt like that since my first week at NCIS, so I figured it was a good sign. After all, I've been at NCIS happily now for ten years, and plan on staying until I can't do it anymore. I mean, it may have been a hell of a ride, but that only made it more impressive, because despite the rough patches, I've stuck with it when normally, I would have ran for the hills. I had a feeling that a relationship with Gibbs was going to go pretty much the same way. It was going to be one hell of a ride, but worth every minute.

I stared into his face as I thought. The lines were much lighter as he slept, looking more relaxed than I could ever remember seeing him. I had memorized his face a long time ago. I watched over the years as the crease in his forehead got deeper, and as the squinting had taken its toll around his mind-blowing blue eyes. The thing I think I loved most about him, was that he didn't _do anything_ specific to make himself more attractive. He just took care of himself to take care of himself, and it happened so damn naturally.

I was surprised at the time I saw on the clock behind his head. Normally, he was wide awake by now, making his second pot of coffee. I had fallen asleep on his couch enough times to know, sleeping off a bourbon embalming after a hard week or bad case. If I slept this late on his couch, I usually woke up to find a cup of coffee next to me, already cold, sweetened just the way I took it to deal with its toxicity. Sometimes I would crawl to the kitchen to heat it up, sometimes I just added an ice cube to make it iced coffee, and drank it down. I always drank it though, knowing that it was made with a rare tenderness that Gibbs barely showed anyone.

I wanted to let him sleep, but I couldn't stop myself. I leaned forward and kissed his slumbering lips, gently working my bottom lip between his. Sucking just a little on his top lip, I continued to kiss him as he stirred. His body barely moved at all as he began kissing me back, starting to wake. My arms were still around him, holding him close and snug. His arms took a moment to react, but once they did, I knew he was really waking up. He pulled me into him, pressing me even harder against his body until I could feel his arousal against my leg. It sent a shiver up my spine as I knew, without a doubt, that he was as turned on as I was.

His kisses became more and more passionate as he became more and more alert. A few minutes later, he began sitting up a little into the kiss, and effectively pushed me back onto the bed, lying across my chest as he chastised my mouth with his tongue. I took it gladly. If this was punishment for waking him up, I was going to wake him up every day. I ran my hands up under his shirt, not being stopped this time, and let my nails dig in while I ran them down his muscular back.

He groaned into my mouth, pausing the kiss, but not releasing my lips. I had a chance to breathe deep through my nose, and took it, before retracing my claw marks from before with my palms. Then, my hands returned to his shoulders, pulling him down on me. He was on fire on top of me, pressing me deeper into the mattress. I reveled in the intense heat coming from his body and the sun that shone down on us, making his hair shine. It was extraordinary.

I couldn't deny him anything right now if he wanted it. I wanted him so badly, but besides that, I wanted his happiness. I was filled with so much overwhelming love for him that I had never felt before, that it threatened to tear me apart. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and pulled myself up into his kiss. He pulled me up towards him, one hand behind my head, slipping to my shoulders, supporting me as I leaned up into his kiss.

Every nerve in my body was reaching for his touch. I couldn't hold myself up anymore, and fell back into the bed with a low groan. My eyes drifted open, and met Gibbs' blue orbs staring down at me with as much love and passion as I felt coursing through my veins, pounding through my chest. With how hard I was, I was surprised there was any blood left to move through the rest of me.

"Touch me, Jethro. Please. Anywhere. Just... touch me?" I managed to let out with only a touch of whine in the pleading. His smile grew, and I knew that I had just given him the permission he was looking for.

He looked me deep in the eyes, and bent to kiss me much more softly. His hands started at the hem of my shirt, making me shiver immediately at the touch so close to my waist. He slowly ran his hands up my sides, pushing my shirt up as he went, hands gently touching my sides and back as he pulled it over my head. I lifted my arms, and it was across the room immediately. His fingers started at my shoulders and ran down across my chest slowly, dancing over my abs as he familiarized himself with my body in a whole new way. It was painfully exhilarating. I wanted to arch into his touch, and force him to go faster, but I knew he wanted to enjoy himself, so I closed my eyes and got lost in the ecstasy of it, trying not to lose control from his mere explorations.

After a long time of letting his fingers dance across my skin, each movement burning me to the point that I thought I was going to scream (in agony or pleasure, I wasn't ever certain), he started exploring me with his lips and tongue. I couldn't help but moan at his new form of erotic torture.

"God, Jethro. What are you doing to me?" I moaned softly, my eyes opening to find his looking up into mine from where his mouth was on my chest. They were bright and wet, but darker than normal in that way that eyes got when lust-drunk. My head fell back after watching him for a moment, and my eyes rolled back into my head. I couldn't keep my back on the bed as I arched into him. I wanted him so badly that I was sure the waiting was going to kill me. I reached one hand out as the other clenched around some of the bed sheets. It found its target, and I tangled my fingers in his short hair. It was that perfect length to grasp. It looked better on him at this length too, a little longer than usual but not so long it was sloppy.

I didn't push or pull him, just let my hand rest on him so I could tell where he was moving. It helped alleviate the surprise of where his next touch would be, and bought me a little time. I wanted to feel him against me, but I didn't move because I couldn't. I had never been rendered so helpless by someone's touch before.

His kisses started going back up my chest, and my hand went from his hair to his collar. I tugged his shirt hard, and pulled it over his head. He sat up, kneeling as he straddled me, careful not to sit on my hard on. His shirt disappeared, and I swear I saw him blush just a little.

It occurred to me that we had never had the "man-love" talk. According to Tim, it wasn't much of a surprise to people that I could go both ways. I had to wonder if this was Gibbs' first time with a man, and it suddenly made me really self-conscious, especially when he buried his face into my neck, kissing me there in the only place I couldn't look at him. He had taken control so easily that I didn't even think about it, but I realized I should have. Gibbs was always in control, so of course he would take control without a thought. I always assumed he would, and was entranced by the idea; so entranced that I didn't think of his possible inexperience.

For a first time though, this was going pretty damn well. I decided I wouldn't stop, but just affirm that this was exactly what it was supposed to be like. Actually, it was infinitely better. I turned my head to find his lips, and kissed him deeply, running my hands up his naked back, and grabbing his shoulders.

"You're so fucking incredible," I whispered as I attacked his neck with my mouth, kissing him and biting a little. That elicited a moan, and I smiled into my next attack.

I tried to sit up a so I could kiss his chest, but his hands were on my shoulders, pinning me to the bed immediately. "Tony," he growled.

"Please, don't tell me we have to stop. Please," I asked, my eyes first closing against the idea, and then staring as fiercely as I could into his. He leaned down and whispered into my ear, voice raw with desire.

"I couldn't stop now if you asked me to."

I felt myself melt into the bed, body limp, willing him to do whatever he wanted to do to me. I resigned myself to his desire and whim gladly.

"Oh, thank god," I blurted out. My hands traced his chest and stomach, savoring the touches as I explored him. "Whatever you want, Jethro. I'm yours."

His mouth was by my ear again. "I know," he said quietly, but possessively. I moaned loudly.

His hand was back in my hair, pulling hard to expose my throat to his hungry mouth. He latched on to it, kissing and licking, nibbling and finally sucking hard and biting. It was sensational. I felt the bite all the way through my body, and it made my toes tingle. He kissed the place he had just bitten, and then kissed his way down to my shoulder, where he repeated the bite. I inhaled sharply, and it made a muffled yelp. That one went straight to my aching hard on. I couldn't exhale, forgetting all about breathing as I suddenly felt Gibbs' hot mouth descend on my left nipple.

I shook hard at the severe shock, still forgetting to breathe. I kept shaking, and Gibbs finally realized it. He stopped what he was doing and ran his hand across my chest.

"Tony! Breathe."

I snapped out of my daze, and suddenly felt the cool release of the air leaving my lungs.

"Damn," I said as I caught my breath. "I feel like I'm learning how to do this all over again," I managed between pants.

Gibbs' face had started kissing down my chest again, and he stopped to stare into my eyes. He had a playful smirk, and his gaze tore into me. "You've never done this before- not with me."

I shivered again, every hair on my body standing on end. The tables were suddenly turned, and I felt like the inexperienced one. At first it was an uneasy feeling, but in a minute, his kisses and touches had me under his spell, and I was thoroughly enjoying the experience through fresh eyes. His touch felt like no else's ever had. His breath on my skin was a sensual torture of its own. In a few brief seconds, hundreds of moments we shared where his breath was close to me as he spoke quietly over my shoulder at my desk, in the elevator, on a crime scene, all flashed through my mind, and I knew that I'd never experience that the same ever again.

I felt my sweats being pulled down slowly, and opened my eyes to watch Gibbs' face, taking in his every reaction. When my erection sprung loose, I saw his tongue flip out to wet his lips and I smirked. I was leaning more and more towards the idea that this wasn't his first time with a man, and a bit of me was relieved as the pressure lifted.

As my sweats found a home on the floor next to my bed, I watched as Gibbs knelt up and began to unbutton his jeans, unzipping them slowly as he watched my face. It wasn't as if though we hadn't seen each other naked before in the locker room, but this was a whole different scenario. I already knew what the man had to work with, but as his pants slipped down his thighs, I understood his appreciation of baggy jeans. His current pair found themselves hanging out with my sweats on the floor, and I found my mouth engulfed in an incredible kiss.

Gibbs propped himself up on one hand, his body hovering over me as his other hand ran up my thigh, stopping to tease my balls with the back of his index finger as he watched for my reaction. I shuddered hard and groaned, arching into the touch involuntarily. It was pushing the envelope of my resistance, and he knew it.

He bent to kiss me again, and then sat up, reaching for my nightstand. I watched him sift through our phones and guns for the lube and condoms in there. He sat them next to us on the bed, and kissed me again. My arms went around his neck, holding him close, feeling his entire body fall gently on top of mine, pressed against me in heated bliss. Our cocks were trapped against each other between us, and I whimpered despite myself when he began moving to grind against me. I nipped at his lips, aching to offer him more than I felt I could. He had me eager for every single touch, every kiss, every whisper of breath against me, and I felt like a puddle, barely able to move, simply waiting to be consumed by the man on top of me.

Gibbs took the lube from where it lay next to us and sat up, scooting back to wedge his body between my knees. The cap flipped open, and I watched as he coated two fingers thoroughly. I felt my chest begin to rise and fall faster and faster in anticipation. It had been so long since I had let anyone do this to me, and I was anxious for it in every way possible, but most of all because it was Gibbs.

His dry hand stroked my thigh as he stared down at me, and I stared right back into his eyes, willing him to do it. A moment later, a cold wet finger was tracing my entrance, and I let myself lean back and enjoy it. His finger brushed back and forth over my puckering hole, teasing me mercilessly. His dry hand left my thigh, and wrapped itself around my leaking cock, stroking once, and making me cry out as he slipped his finger into me.

I groaned loudly, arching up off the bed. Gibbs' hand left my cock, and pushed me back down. I felt like I could explode right then. I fought back the wave of electric energy suddenly washing over me, and opened my eyes, taking in the unusually dark blue eyes staring back at me. It was fierce with passion, and in typical Gibbs-fashion, told me everything with just that look. It said for me to behave and lie still, let him take care of me, and that he needed me, too.

I felt the finger begin moving inside of me in circles. It was gentle and tender compared to the hard grip his other hand had on my hip. He seemed to have forgotten it was there, and I could tell his grip was getting tighter with the closer he got to losing his own restraint. A second finger began to work its way into me, and I hummed in pleasure. I saw the timid smile I'd been loving more and more, cross Jethro's face for a minute. It made me second guess, once again, whether or not he'd been down this road before. He had to of, in some way, to be opening me up so expertly. I couldn't care anymore though, because suddenly, his fingers were running across my prostate, and the jolt of pleasure coursing through me was mind-numbing. There was no more thinking after there, only feeling.

His thick fingers scissored me open a while longer, occasionally grazing my sweet spot every time I finally felt like I had a hold on reality again for a brief moment. He slipped a third in at one point without me even realizing until he began using it to stretch me as well. I couldn't take it anymore. "Please," I groaned. "Please, Jethro…" I couldn't find the words I needed, but I knew he got my point. His fingers retracted, and left me feeling barren. I whimpered in an attempt to convey what I needed, and a minute later, I felt Gibbs pressing the head of his cock against me.

I sighed in relief, eager to be joined with him. I watched his face, and he watched mine, as he slipped into me. With all of the stretching, I thought I'd take him in easily, but as his head finally breached my muscular ring, I groaned in pleasure at how he filled me. God, he felt incredible. He ran his hands down my stomach, and then brought them slowly back up to my chest and shoulders as he slid in deeper and deeper. His head landed on my shoulder as he finally bottomed out, and I ran my hand up his back, holding him in place. It was perfect. The way we were finally joined together, the feeling of him deep within me while being wrapped in my arms, was moving beyond anything I had ever felt.

We stayed like that for a long minute. I could feel his heart racing as his chest was pressed against mine, and could feel his breath coming out in short, shaky puffs against my shoulder. I could have stayed in that moment forever. I had finally found what had been missing in my life, and my eyes burned slightly as I heard the panting breaths turn into a whispered, "I love you, Tony."

"I love you, too, Jethro," I whispered back into his ear, running my hands up his back again. The movement encouraged more movement, and he began sliding back out of me gently. We both hummed in pleasure that time, and as he slid forward again, propping himself back up on his hands on either side of me, I gasped. He was at just the right angle to hit my prostate, and it sent me flying.

Over and over again, he pulled out slowly and moved back in, each time hitting that spot, and each time making me feel like the world was coming apart at the seams around me, revealing the beauty hidden beneath all of the disturbing nightmares I'd lived through. He brought me to the edge, and I clung hard to it, not wanting to let go yet. I wanted to stay in that place with him forever; a place where I felt wanted, needed, whole, loved and safe for the first time in my entire life.

He bent forward again, putting his mouth against my ear as he pulsed in and out of me. "It's okay Tony, let go. I'll catch you."

My eyes opened to find his inches from me, filled with the honest integrity that I'd fallen for in the first place, so long ago. I knew that if Gibbs said it, it was true- he'd catch me. I felt the control slip out of my grasp without my permission, like sand running through my fingers, and my eyes shut as the sensations flooded my system. It was an orgasm like I'd never had before, powerful and intense, but instead of feeling like the energy was leaving my body, I felt it filling me instead. Where, in the past, I'd always felt a release, I felt enraptured. Everything was bright as I cried out, and the last thing I heard was Gibbs experiencing his own peak.

I came around to a finger tracing my jawline. I had no idea how long I'd been out. I smiled into the touch, and turned my head to stare back at the glazed blue eyes that were watching me with such tender interest.

"When I first imagined the idea of us getting together," I said quietly, "I imagined it would be fiery, short lived… a passionate release. When I was stuck out afloat, I realized what I wanted, had changed. I didn't want a short-term release, and hadn't for a long time." I shook my head slightly. "I never thought in a million years that we'd ever be here. I never thought that I'd… feel… so much."

Gibbs nodded at me, eyebrows rising while his eyes expressed his agreement.

"I didn't expect that to be so…" I swallowed hard.

"Perfect?" Gibbs asked. I looked at him and smiled.

"Yeah. Perfect."

"Me, too. I might not have been thinking about this for years, but that was…" Gibbs took a deep breath and I stared at him, watching as his dazed expression told me everything I needed to know. He was on the same page as I was, and the words didn't matter.

I turned, and draped myself up against him. He wrapped himself around me, and we held on to each other for dear life. We both fell back to sleep after a while of just listening to each other breathe. I slept more deeply than I had ever remembered sleeping, dreaming the most peaceful dreams I had ever remembered dreaming.

x-x-x-x

When I woke up, Gibbs was still next to me, partially tangled with me, and partially tangled in the blankets. He was still asleep, and I found that to be amazing. I could see the clock behind him on the nightstand, and it read a little after noon. The fact that I had slept so long wasn't a surprise, but that Gibbs was still out cold next to me was baffling. I laid there and watched him sleep in the sunlight. He was sexy as hell. His hair shone, his mouth was quirked up in a little smile, his muscular chest was exposed, urging me to touch it. I refrained, enjoying watching him sleep. He looked peaceful, and I realized that I probably had never seen him look at ease like that.

I watched him sleep for over ten minutes before he stirred at all, and another five before he slowly started to wake. His eyes fluttered open to find me staring at him, and he smiled. I smiled back, still not wanting to break the peace with words.

Gibbs broke the silence after a long few moments of us just staring back and forth at one another. "What are you thinking?" he asked.

I sighed happily. "I don't think I've ever seen you look so calm, peaceful, at ease," I replied.

His smile doubled. "I can't remember the last time I felt like this. Guess I just feel safe here, with you."

I'm not sure why those words affected me so much, but they did, and it must have shown on my face. Gibbs leaned forward, sitting up, and pulled me into his arms. "You okay?" he asked quietly in my ear after we folded our arms around each other.

"More okay than I've ever been in my life," I answered.

"Then what's that look about?" he asked.

"I've never felt safer than when I'm with you, even in the field. If you're there, it's all okay. I know you've got my back. I just never thought I'd be able to give that to you. The idea of you even letting me is, well, important to me." I felt weird saying it, but it tumbled out effortlessly.

Gibbs pulled back a little and looked into my eyes. "Tony, I _always_ feel safer when you're around. I know you've got my six, too. Been like that from the beginning. It's just different now."

I nodded, unable to trust myself with words. We held each other for a long time, leaning back against the headboard, my head on his shoulder, and his hand carding through my hair.

"You wanna get some stuff together, and head over to my house? See what we need to do?" Gibbs finally asked. He didn't move from his position, and he sounded reluctant to leave our happy little bubble. I was reluctant too, but the clock kept showing how fast our day was flying by, and it was starting to get darker out earlier as the fall days grew shorter.

"Sure. What all should I bring?" I asked, still not moving.

"Everything," Gibbs said without hesitation. My neck popped as my head snapped up to look at him.

"Everything?" I asked, confused.

His blue eyes looked down at me, tentative and uncertain as he nodded. "Everything."

I was still confused. He couldn't mean, _everything_, could he? "Are you asking me…?" I trailed off, afraid to even form the words in case I was misunderstanding.

All he could do was nod. I realized that the more I doubted his question, the more scared he looked that I was going to decline. Thing is, I wanted to scream, 'Yes!' at the top of my lungs, and that confused the shit out of me. That's going too fast, right? That's crazy, right? To be together only a few days, and suddenly move in together? I thought back to what I said in the cabin about calling everything sudden. We'd been working on this relationship for a decade now. Traditionally, people would have dated, moved in together, and then take it to where we took it last night. We'd been through much more together than what courting for a year could ever teach us. We were both ready for this, so who was I to fight it?

"I really don't feel like packing everything up at the moment," I said, letting my head fall to his shoulder again with a huge grin on my face. "Can we do it after work tomorrow?" I asked with a yawn. I felt Gibbs shaking under me as he chuckled to himself.

"As long as we do it soon," he answered, letting his head fall on top of mine, nuzzling me a little.

"Definitely," I said, taking his hand and mine, watching as we entwined our fingers.

Another twenty minutes went by before we dragged ourselves out of bed. I went to take a shower as Gibbs wrestled with my coffee maker. I came out to the smell of it brewing, and slipped into clothes. I grabbed a suit bag out of the closet, and loaded it up, then filled a duffle with a collection of other clothes. I considered what I was doing, and knew that logically, I should feel worried, indecisive, concerned at the speed we were taking things, but I didn't feel any of those things. I felt relief, and contentment, and dangerously happy.

Strong arms came around me as I stared into my closet, and warm lips planted a kiss to my neck. I didn't even care that Gibbs' body was still wet as it was pressed against me.

"I'm looking forward to seeing that empty," he said quietly into my ear as his chin landed on my shoulder. I held his arms to me, and sighed deeply.

"I know I should be freaking out, but I'm not. I've had a long time to think about this." I turned in Jethro's arms, and let my arms lay across his shoulders as he pulled me in by the waist. "You haven't though. Are you sure this is what you want? Are you ready for this? I won't be hurt if you say that you aren't yet."

Gibbs smiled at me in a way I've never seen before, and I smiled back without thinking. "I definitely want this." He leaned in a kissed me, taking my breath away. I tingled from head to toe. "Definitely," he gasped as he pulled away. He leaned back in, taking my lips again, and I surrendered. I felt my hands untying his towel from around his waist, and he growled.

"Tony, let me take you home," he said, nuzzling the side of my head with his, his hands roaming down my back. How could I say no to a request like that? I nodded, running my hands up his side.

"You'll have to let me go first, though," I whispered into his ear, my hands still exploring the muscles along his back, as his hands came down to my ass.

"I don't want to," he said, still nuzzling me.

"I don't want you to," I said back, letting my hands coast down his back to his ass, pulling him against me. We were both hard as nails, and I wasn't about to let the chance escape me. I started kissing his neck, nibbling gently, and was rewarded with a moan.

"What _do_ you want?" he asked, as my mouth traced his collarbone.

I let my lips move to his ear, licking his lobe before suckling on it a little. "I want to taste you. I want to see how much of you I can swallow, how much of your cock I can get down my throat."

I felt the shiver run through Gibbs' body as the words were spoken, and felt a thrill at having that much power over him. This was Gibbs after all, and I had control suddenly.

"Damn, I want that," he whispered. I smirked into his neck as I resumed my nibbles and licks. My lips travelled down his chest as he stood there in front of me, naked and damp. I let my tongue trail down his stomach as I slowly dropped to my knees in front of him. He was so fucking hot like that, and I looked up to find him looking down at me with those glazed blue eyes I loved so much. I slipped my shirt off, eager to feel his hands on my burning skin. His palms found my shoulders, and I realized his hands were a little sweaty. I smiled up at him as I ran my own hands up his thighs, fingertips caressing his hips.

I bit my lip, chewing on it as I stared at the leaking head of his cock in front of me. I was pretty sure it was going to take some serious conditioning to get to a point where I could take the entire thing, but I was going to try my best to manage it. I leaned forward, taking it by the base with my right hand, and pulled it towards me. It was hefty even to the touch, and I felt the need swirling in my stomach. I let my tongue flick out, licking at the line of thick liquid that was already dripping over the tip, sliding into his slit and sucking gently to take it into my mouth, enjoying the flavor. I felt the vibration of Gibbs' growl in his hip, where my hand rested, and looked up to see him staring down at me.

I kept eye contact as I pulled his dick to my lips, and very slowly applied pressure to it as I slipped his head into my mouth. He was warm, thick, hard and delicious. My eyes closed as I began letting my tongue slide around him over and over again, sucking gently at first. The growl was repeated, and I descended a little further, sucking harder as I came back up. I felt Gibbs' fingers in my hair, grasping it gently as I started a rhythm of bobbing and sucking, letting his head hit the back of my mouth over and over again.

I wanted to try and take him further, but I hesitated. He was wide, and I hadn't done this in a long time, and never with someone of his size. I wanted it though- I wanted to feel him thrusting down my throat, making me gasp with every thrust. It was one of the things that I loved most about giving head, and I knew that he wanted it with how his hips jutted a little harder each time I took him in.

On the next intake, I swallowed hard and took him just a little into my throat. I heard him gasp sharply, and knew that I had to do it again, so I did. I swallowed over and over, taking more and more of him with each thrust, letting my tongue dance around his shaft each time. I could feel him thicken with my lips, and I knew he was about to come. I started to swallow again, and suddenly the grasp on my hair became a pull, and his hips bucked hard, shoving the entire thing down my throat until I thought I was going to choke. I tried to moan, but there was no way air was getting around that thing.

I could feel warmth streaming down my throat, and Gibbs made some inhuman noise that sent chills up my back. I could feel his balls against my chin, and knew that there was barely anything left outside of my mouth, so I pushed just a little harder, letting my lips hit the skin at his base. I pulled away some so I could breathe, and then plunged back down, taking him all the way again, milking everything from him I could.

I felt him wobble on his feet, and finally pulled off of him. His knees dropped out from underneath him, and I pulled him towards me as he fell, so that he landed into my arms as I knelt back on my feet. He clung to me, and I felt a sensational satisfaction with his trust that I would catch him. I can't explain it, but it put me over the edge, and I saw stars as I came hard.

Maybe it was the display of trust, or the sudden turnover of power and control. Maybe it was simply holding the man I love, knowing that he wasn't going anywhere, knowing that he felt as safe in my arms as I did in his. I don't know, but I knew this much- in that moment, I felt he needed me, as much as I needed him, and it was all I had ever wanted.


	6. Chapter 6

_This story started off as an experiment to work on my first-person POV writing, and it was written with emotions that I never intended to share. It's definitely Gibbs-OOC to me, but as the story unfolded, I realized that it is in our darkest moments, and finding the strength to reach out in those darkest moments, that we are truest to our own character. _That, _is what being 'safe' with someone truly is- trusting them enough with your most fragile moments, and letting them be there to protect you when you need it. I couldn't finish this until I had found that safety. Maybe, like with Gibbs, it isn't how I expected it to be, but it's letting me move on, so the story ends here. Thank you so much for your patience with me and this tale! I hope this satisfies the craving :)_

Chapter 6: Tomorrow

When Gibbs came around in my arms, I kissed him gently. He smiled at me, and got to his feet, helping me up. I felt the sticky mess in my pants, and decided I needed to hop back in the shower. "I need to go wash off- again." I chuckled, and Gibbs smirked. I was half tempted to pull him into the shower with me again, the cocky smirk making me want to do all sorts of things to him. We had to get going though; we had no idea how much the clean-up crew had been able to do at Gibbs' house, and we might have our hands full when we got there.

I jumped in the shower after peeling my jeans off, and washed up quickly. I reached out of the curtain, and pulled the jeans in under the water with me, rinsing them out, and then hanging them over the curtain rod to dry. When I came out of the bathroom, Gibbs was cleaned up and dressed, looking around my room like he was taking stock. I pulled some fresh jeans out of the closet, and slipped them on. "Trying to figure out what size truck to get?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Just trying to imagine what it's going to be like when all of this is home with us," Gibbs said, that sheepish smile on his face like he wasn't sure he was allowed to make the comment, or that it might be too presumptuous. I had to put a stop to _that _insecurity.

I stepped over next to him, and put my hands around his waist, pulling him against me. "Jethro, I want this. Don't worry." Gibbs closed his eyes for a minute, and took a deep breath, then opened them again and nodded. I continued. "I want to celebrate this! I don't want to be worried about whether or not we're on the same page. I think we are. I want to spend forever with you. I've put ten years in, giving you my all at work, and now I'm going to spend the rest of our lives, giving you my all in our relationship. We'll make this work. Is that what you want?"

Gibbs smiled, and his entire expression changed. "Yeah, Tony, that's what I want." His forehead fell against mine, and I felt his arms rest on my shoulders. It felt really good to be standing there with him like that. He leaned on me, and I held him close.

"We should probably get going. We have a lot to take care of today yet, and tomorrow is going to be a long one with telling the rest of the team about us, and then writing up the godforsaken reports for the past two weeks," I said, not really wanting to let him go, but knowing that if I didn't, we'd never leave my apartment.

Gibbs sighed heavily, his breath tickling my eyelashes. "Yeah. We should get going."

Neither of us moved, and I smiled. "Are you going to let me go?" I asked.

"No."

I laughed harder, but didn't make any attempt to escape his grasp. "We're not going anywhere today, are we?" I asked.

"Nope."

I laughed even harder, moving my head from Gibbs' forehead to his shoulder, and pulling so that we tumbled down on the bed next to us. He laughed too, and we curled up against one another. "You think we'll be this happy, this playful, in ten years?" I asked, smiling as I nuzzled into his neck.

"No," he said, shaking his head.

I looked up at him, squinting in surprise.

"I think we'll be even happier," he said, smiling.

I smacked his chest. "You ass!" I laughed, snuggling back into him.

"You knew that before this started, yet here we are, so you must like it," he said smugly.

"Sometimes, yeah," I admitted. "Can't help it. It's a big part of who you are, and I've come to enjoy it from time to time."

"So you're saying I'm a complete ass?" he asked playfully.

"Yeah, pretty much." I felt the head slap and laughed, turning my head into his chest and shoulder to muffle it. "I love you, Gibbs."

"Love you, too, Tony." We were both quiet for a few minutes, and I got lost in the way his hand started moving through my hair. After a long time, his voice slowly filled the silence. "I… never thought I could be this happy with a guy."

I tried not to tense up, and forced myself to breathe as naturally as possible. I wanted him to keep talking so that I didn't have to ask all of the questions that I was dying to know the answer to. If I could just let him tell his own story, it would be a lot easier.

"I couldn't bring myself to be with another woman for a while after Shannon died. I couldn't… bring myself to even try. When Mike brought me on board with NIS, I had a hard time readjusting to being in the States without the girls." I could tell that he was having a hard time even telling the story, and I let my hand reach out, sliding down his arm until I could fold my fingers into his, holding his hand. He took a deep breath, and continued.

"I was drinking a lot, and one night, already pretty tanked, and thrown out of one bar, I ended up in a gay bar, unaware of the fact, just… looking for another drink. Ended up going home with the bartender after he closed up, still pretty drunk. Had no idea what I was doing, and thankfully I was so drunk that I didn't remember much. I somehow felt better though, I guess, being able to be somewhat close to someone again. I waited until I was angry, drunk and lonely again before going to another gay bar six months later, for another random thing. I met my first ex-wife six months after that. When I was depressed as all hell after fucking that one up, I picked up a few guys, but always felt like shit afterwards. When Diane and I got together, I swore it off. I just saw men as my escape, not relationship potential. I think that's why it took everything that happened this week to let me see what was right in front of me."

I smiled when I felt his lips drop a kiss on my head. That was a hell of a lot more information than I ever thought I'd get from him. "Sex with men has always been a casual thing for me, except this guy I dated in college when I was figuring it all out. With my dad, I knew that it wouldn't work out well if I brought a guy home. I ended up fucking that relationship up so horribly, that I never tried a relationship with a guy again. Just like most of the women I've seen, it was just fun, no attachment. You kinda ruined it for me, anyway- no man could have lived up to you." I shrugged, snuggling deeper into the covers, squeezing the hand still enfolded with mine.

"I'm not sure about all that, but I'm going to do what I can to live up to your expectations," he said, dropping another kiss on the top of my head. I was surprised to find everything tumbling out so easily. I thought we'd have to pull this kind of stuff out of one another with a crowbar. We're not usually good at this kind of thing, but it wasn't so bad.

"Don't have to worry about that, Jethro," I said.

"Oh? Why's that?"

"If you don't, I'll kick your ass." I felt the sudden rise and fall of his chest under my head as he chuckled. I laughed a little, too. It felt incredible to not only hear his laughter, but feel it rumbling in his chest under me. I was going to make sure he laughed- it made everything feel like it was meant to be.

We laid there for a while longer in silence, holding each other, and just enjoying being close to each other. Of all things to break the spell, Gibbs' stomach growling did the trick. "We should probably eat something," I said, laughing at the noise that filled the air.

"Yeah, probably should," he said, resigned to the idea that we would have to get out of bed finally.

"We're going to have to order in. I don't have food in this place on a good day, and without being home for over two weeks now, even the milk and eggs will be bad. There's Wok "n" Roll, Mama Cosina's, the standard pizza places, and The Grub Shack, which does burgers, fries, subs, stuff like that. Whatcha feeling?" I asked, ticking off all of the menus next to the phone that I could think of.

That's one thing I would have to learn to do without by moving into Gibbs'- the lack of delivered food. There weren't nearly as many places around him as there were around me. On the up-side, I'd have someone to cook for finally. I loved cooking, but what's the point when it's just me? I'd finally have someone to try out all of my favorite family recipes on that I hadn't made for years. I thought for a moment about how to delicately tell Gibbs that I was going to be updating the kitchen.

"I don't care. Something warm that's not pizza."

"I think I can do that." I leaned up to give him a quick kiss, and then rolled out of his arms, and off the bed. I could feel his gaze on me as I walked out of the room towards the kitchen. I shook my head a little to clear it, shuffling through the menus to find Mama Cocina's, and scanned the page. I ordered, and turned to find Jethro pouring himself a cup of coffee from the pot he had made earlier. He took a taste, and stuck it in the microwave, trying to figure out the buttons. I smiled, watching from afar as he finally got it to work for him. I came up behind him, and put my arms around his waist while he watched the timer counting down, resting my head on his shoulder.

"What do you feel like doing tonight?" I asked.

"You wanna pack?" he asked, no longer hesitating.

"We can start organizing things in stacks. I don't have any boxes." I stepped back as he reached to pull his mug from the microwave.

"Okay. Where do you want to start?" he asked, taking a deep drink of his cup.

"We could start in the living room. I won't need anything in there immediately, so we have time to get the boxes. There's stuff in the bedroom and bathroom I know I'll need over the next week, and if we pack it up now, I won't be able to find it." I started thinking about how real this all was as I looked around the room. This had been my home for the past ten years. I was surprised by how I was suddenly ready to give it all up.

When Jeanne had suggested we get a place, I had gone along with the idea because of the op, but I was terrified. I had honestly loved her, but I couldn't see being with her forever. Even if she would have been able to look past the fact that our entire relationship had been an undercover operation, my heart was elsewhere. That's when I learned that loving someone, and being in love with someone, are two totally different things.

Gibbs waited for me to move into the room, and wrapped his arms around my waist as I stood there considering where to begin. His chin came to rest on my shoulder, mirroring what I'd just done to him in the kitchen, as he talked softly into my ear. "I never expected that you'd be this organized. Should make the job easier."

"Aha! You haven't seen the office yet!" I said with a chuckle. What I considered my office wasn't much more than a couple of messy bookshelves, and a table with chairs around it that I had my laptop on. It was going to take a couple of hours just to sort that crap out, and purge the files I'd been meaning to shred. "Maybe we should just wait until we can pick up boxes after work tomorrow." I sighed at the daunting task of packing everything up.

"I probably could go get some now, if you wanted," Gibbs offered in my ear, but not too convincingly.

"No, I want you here with me. A day of rest together before the chaos ensues. A day away from everyone except the two minutes of contact we'll have with the delivery guy." I turned around in his embrace, and wrapped my arms around his neck. "A day where we can hide in our little bubble together, and figure some things out." I leaned forward, and planted a kiss on his lips. He deepened the kiss, and pulled me tightly against him.

"I like the sound of that," he said softly before he came back for more, his lips sliding against mine, tongue slipping between them so that he could explore.

The way he kissed me was intoxicating, and I never wanted it to end. There was so much behind it; passion, lust, tenderness, protectiveness, love, and an odd sense that he was investigating me like I was the most recent case to come across our paths, and he was using every skill he had to unravel me. It made my breathing hitch, and every inch of my body was on fire. I knew I was probably flushed beyond all belief, and when the doorbell rang, I realized that we must have been standing there, making out for a solid twenty minutes.

I pulled slightly away, staring into those intense blue eyes. "I should get that."

Gibbs nodded at me, and let me go so that I could retrieve our food. I took a second to look out the peep hole, and saw it was the usual guy from the restaurant, and opened the door. I pulled my wallet out, and we exchanged pleasantries as I paid him, then I closed the door to once again retreat into the safety of our bubble.

We sat on the couch and ate, talking a little about what we expected Ziva and Ducky's reactions to be to our getting together. We decided it couldn't be anything bad, and that mutual agreement made me feel a little better.

"What about when Vance finds out?" I asked.

"I don't know if it would surprise him too much. He got a taste of what a pain in the ass I am without you when you were afloat. I think he'd be an idiot to challenge it. I suspect he'll probably ignore it, like Hernan-" he stopped, frozen, and then looked at me. "How did you know?" he asked.

"About Hernandez? We all _knew_, we just didn't _know_. Well, I kind of more than knew. I kind of snooped into the file before Abby could give it to Vance." Gibbs gave me a glare that fell very short of his normal disapproval. "It simply confirmed what we already knew. I didn't tell anyone that I'd confirmed it, but we all pretty much know. It shouldn't come as any surprise- you've trained us too well." I smiled at him as he shook his head.

"I think he'll do his best to ignore it, unless we do something to really push his buttons. I don't see him taking either of us off of the job though. He needs us both too much. He tries to send you undercover again though, I'm going to have a word with him." He wrapped his arms around me protectively, and pulled me down into a lying position with him.

"As much as I have always enjoyed going undercover, I'm starting to think that it's just a bad idea. It never ends well for me. Whether I'm bodily harmed, or mentally harmed, something always happens that makes me regret it. And let's face it, Gibbs, I can't take too many more concussions!" We chuckled together, and as if he were soothing the former pains away, he began running his hand through my hair. It felt like such a tender gesture, and I wondered if he even realized why he was doing it.

We lay there, close to one another, talking softly for hours. Sometimes, we'd laugh at something, and I'd feel that rumble of laughter in the chest under my head, and I felt like everything was right in the world.

I tentatively approached the topic of updating his- well, now our- kitchen. He told me that he had no problem changing it if it meant that I'd be cooking from time to time, and he made me promise to help. I promised eagerly, hoping that under his guidance, I might be able to learn something handy for once. If I was going to be settling down with Gibbs, I figured I should probably be able to at least use a hammer or something. We were both aware at how much I sucked with sandpaper.

We talked about whether we'd mount my TV on the wall in his- our- living room, or if I should get a stand for it. It made sense to mount it here, but the way that the living room was set up at Gibbs'- our- house, it wouldn't make sense, unless we mounted it over the fireplace. After we discussed the fireplace in the cabin though, I realized it was kind of a sacred space in the house, and I didn't want to take away from its magic. We never found an answer to the question, but it didn't matter.

The crazy couple of weeks that we had barely lived through was catching up with us, and we fell asleep on the couch. By time we woke up, it was a little after one in the morning. I got up, stretched, and helped Gibbs to his feet before dragging him into the bedroom with me to crawl under the covers and pick up where we had just left off. I set the alarm on my phone, and then rolled over. Gibbs' arms came around me tightly, and he buried his face in my shoulder. I breathed him in, and held him just as tightly. It was so perfectly peaceful, and we both needed that peace more than anything else in the world after what we'd been through. We fell asleep easily, and I, for one, slept so deeply that when I awoke four hours later, I could feel something inside of me settling.

I watched Gibbs sleep for a few minutes, but the restless energy that flowed through me was begging to be put to use. We'd slept a lot, and I needed to get out of bed. I turned the alarm off on my phone, then rolled over.

"Hey, Gibbs?" I said quietly. "Jethro?" I ran my fingers through his hair, causing him to stir, and his eyes to flutter open. "It's about twenty 'til six. I'm going for a run. I'll be back soon." I leaned in, and kissed him. He kissed me back half dazed, and I smiled at him before getting out of bed. I grabbed some track pants out of the drawer, and a long sleeve tee, and took them into the bathroom to change into after I took care of business.

I slipped on my socks and gym shoes in the dark, but felt Gibbs' eyes on me as I stood up again. I went back over to the bed, and leaned down, kissing him hard, taking both of our breaths away. The energy in the air crackled, and he pulled me down into the bed, flipping me over him as he rolled over on top of me, kissing me back. I ran my fingers up his neck and into his hair, keeping his face pressed against mine, unwilling to break the kiss for anything.

The rush of passion that came from him was unbelievably intense, and he pinned me to the bed. "You're not going anywhere," he whispered roughly into my ear as he descended on my neck.

All I could do was nod and gasp as he nibbled on me, his hands moving to explore under my shirt. His fingers found my nipples, pinching them both at the same time as he threw his leg over me, straddling me. We were both still fully dressed, and the heat of the clothes I had put on felt suffocating. I reached to pull my shirt off, and he did the same. The air against my skin felt immensely better, but the heat was still there, right under the surface.

His hands found my nipples again, and he pinched harder this time, making me moan. He ran his fingers through my chest hair, letting it slide through his fingers. He groaned as he did it, and I realized that he liked that I was a hairy guy. That surprised me because he didn't have much hair himself, but I made a mental-note to use that to my advantage in the future.

I ran my hands across his chest and down his arms, feeling their strength, and I squirmed at the way his muscles rippled as he moved. He was so damn hot, on top of everything else that was so amazing about him. He slipped my pants down, exposing my dick, and I kicked off my shoes so that he could pull them the rest of the way off. He climbed out of bed for a moment, leaving me feeling oddly cold, and he stripped his clothes off from the day before.

The predatory look in his eyes as he climbed back on top of me was shiver-worthy, and I felt a sudden thrill rush through me. The ultra-confident man on top of me wasn't the same initially timid man of yesterday. He bent to kiss me, and I felt mesmerized by the amount of control he suddenly exuded.

I'm not exactly sure what happened next, but suddenly things were flipped, and he rolled over, pulling me on top of him. His hands were on my ass, grabbing my cheeks and pulling them apart as they kneaded them. Somehow, even from underneath me, he remained in control.

"I want you riding me," he whispered into my ear, right before biting down hard on my shoulder, marking me, and making me gasp. How could I deny him anything at that point? I sat up, snagging the lube off of the nightstand as I did, and clicked it open. He offered me his first two fingers to squirt lube onto to prep me with. He didn't hesitate at all as they approached my ass, and soon I had two thick fingers opening me. As good as it felt, I knew what I had waiting for me, so I held back, fighting off the arousal as much as possible to save it for the task ahead.

When those fingers left me, I rose up, positioning myself over the thick cock below me that Gibbs was holding in place. I looked into his eyes, seeing his hunger and his need. I chewed on my bottom lip as I lowered myself, feeling the hard, hot, thick head enter me. I paused for a moment to let the pleasure and pain mingle, and my eyes rolled back into my head. I let out a sharp breath, and looked back into the eyes below me. They were fogging over at the sensation, and the heavy rise and fall of Gibbs' chest below, me let me know that he was feeling just as strongly as I was.

I suddenly let my weight pull me down until he was seated all the way in me. I gasped and groaned, and his head pushed back into his pillow, his chin rising into the air as his hands reached out for my hips. My hands reached down, and pried his fingers from where they were grasping so hard that I knew they were bruising. I entwined our fingers together, and we held on to one another tightly.

I began sliding back up. My legs were tight at first from the way my muscles had tensed at the sudden shock from taking him all the way. It didn't take long though to establish a steady rhythm. I was able to use our hands to help push off as his arms locked, and the sensations that flowed through me as I raised up and dropped back down against him were breathtaking.

Our eyes locked, and I couldn't look away. We were connecting again, in that way that I had never connected with anybody else. Our bodies, our hands, our eyes, our breaths… the sudden concentration we had on one another heightened the experience in ways I didn't know could happen. I was panting so hard that I was feeling lightheaded, and my legs were straining to keep up the pace, but I pushed on- there was no other choice. Sweat dripped down my body, and I saw it running down Gibbs' face as well. Our eyes still stared back into one another as our breaths came shorter and shorter, and soon, I knew that we were going to both come together.

Suddenly, Gibbs' head went back again, and his breath hitched hard. His body shook below me, and I felt the pulsing of hot sticky fluids filling me. My head flung back on its own accord, and I felt my own climax rush through me, crashing down on me like bright, hot lightning. My fingers and Gibbs' squeezed each other so hard that I was sure we were going to break one another's hands. Just like I was finding everything else with Gibbs, it was powerful in ways that I had never experienced.

I'm honestly not sure what happened after that. I guess I, uh, must've passed out. Whoops. All I know is that I woke up half an hour later, and we both jumped out of bed, scrambling to get ready for work. There was frantic joint showering, with barely a kiss to spare, and then I went through what was left in my closet to find something to wear. Gibbs found clothes in his bag that weren't too wrinkly, and I tossed him a clean tee to wear underneath it all.

I grabbed my suit bag and the duffel that I had packed. Gibbs' picked up my backpack and his own bag, and we headed for the door. I turned to look around as I flipped the switch off. I felt like I was leaving for good, and in a way, I guess I was. This was my last time heading off to work from the apartment I'd been living in for the past decade. I'd be back for all of my stuff, but from that moment forward, Gibbs' house was home. I smiled, and followed Gibbs out, closing the door behind me.

We climbed into Gibbs' car, and I pulled out my phone, texting the team to meet us in Abby's lab. I knew I shouldn't be nervous, since Abby and Tim already knew, but Ziva, Ducky and Palmer didn't, and they were just as important to me as the rest of the team. I took a deep breath, and felt Gibbs' hand rest on my knee. I looked over, and folded my fingers with his.

"It's gonna be okay, Tony," he said with a smile. I exhaled, and felt all of the tension leave me. That's all I needed to hear. If Gibbs said it, it was true. It was going to be okay.

There was no stopping for breakfast, other than a quick swing by the coffee cart at work, which, I guess for Gibbs _is _breakfast, and we headed straight to the lab. It wasn't a surprise to find Abby already there, and Tim keeping her company.

"Hey, guys!" Abby said, shuffling over to give us both hugs. Gibbs accepted his with a smile, and I knew that he would always see Abby as the little girl she was at heart. I realized just how warm he really was with her, and it made me wonder if that's how he would have been with Kelly. The depth of what we were doing hit me. Not only were we together, not only were we telling the team, and moving in together, but I had absolutely no doubts that we would make it. I'd fight through the storms ahead, and there was nothing I wouldn't do to let him know that I'm not going anywhere.

And Gibbs- well he was letting me in. He was _pulling_ me in. He had talked to me about _Shannon_ of all things. Fourteen years ago, he had taken Abby into his life, learning to love her as much as Kelly, though not as a replacement for Kelly. Now he was letting me in, and it felt like he loved me as much as Shannon, though not as a replacement for her, and it blew me away.

I don't think any of us would have ever expected him to open up again to someone the way I felt he was opening up to me. I hoped that I wasn't imagining it all, but with the way that Tim was glancing up at me, and the way that Abby's arms came tightly around me, I knew that they saw how happy we were this morning, despite running so late. I felt incredible, even with way every nerve in my body on edge about telling the rest of the Scooby-gang about our new relationship.

As if on cue, they all shuffled in behind us. I turned around, greeting them with smiles and an exuberant, "Good morning!" They all smiled back, and I noticed the weird nervousness that they had. Our history of being beckoned to the lab wasn't usually a good thing, unless we were waiting for a case to break. It was our "telling secrets" and "breaking news" place, and well, we _were_ breaking news. Their nervous vibes wore off on me immediately. I turned to Gibbs.

"Okay, let's tell them quick, before I go crazy! Abby? The door please?" I smiled, and moved to stand next to Gibbs, straightening my suit as I shuffled in an overly excited way, feeling the clown in me coming out. Abby smiled brightly as she picked up the remote on her desk, and hit a button to make the door swoosh shut to the labby.

Tim went to stand next to her, giving her this look that just dripped sugary sacchriney sweet stuff. It was like, honey dripping off of cotton candy. I was about to gag, I swear, I was, and then, I looked at Gibbs, and well, he was looking at me in a way that was gentle, and soft, and he had this little smile on his face that made me smile, and I realized that that look was the Gibbsian equivalent to what McGooey was giving Abby. I know my eyes got wide, and my heart did this little tap dance that turned my stomach, and I tried not to think about the cliché heart skipping a beat, butterflies in the stomach crap, but I can't honestly say now that I don't know what either of those feel like. Let's just leave it at that.

"A lot has happened in the past couple of days," Gibbs began, and I realized that Gibbs, of all people, was nervous.

"You can certainly say that again," Ducky said under his breath.

"While we were apart from the team," I said slowly, "we came together as couples." I looked over at Gibbs, who gave me a half smile and shrugged, reaching out and snagging my hand.

"You mean…?" Ducky looked confused, and stared at our joined hands. "How did I miss that one?" he asked.

"I think I've spent the past four days or so asking myself the same damn question, Duck," Gibbs said, turning to wink at me. I smiled, then looked past him to Abby and Tim.

"Not just us, but McAbby over there finally stopped denying that they'd been walking down the yellow brick road together. They met the wizard, found some courage, a heart and a brain and fessed up to the obvious."

"Well, _that_ is refreshing news. A long time coming, yes?" Ziva asked, looking around for confirmation, and receiving it from everyone via glance or nod. "I still am trying to wrap my finger around this though," she said, looking back at Gibbs and I.

"Wrap your _head_ around it, Zee. To be wrapped around your finger is a completely different thing," I corrected.

"He _is_ wrapped around my finger, though," Gibbs joked, and I stared at him in shock. He shrugged. "What? You are. You're moving in with me, I'd say that is pretty wrapped, don't you?" The side of his mouth curled up into a smile that lit up his baby blues, and I shook my head at him, resisting the urge to kiss him in front of the group.

"Wow! You're moving in together! That's so awesome!" Abby said, bouncing so that one of her pigtails smacked Tim in the face. "That's, like, the best surprise ever, and this week has definitely been full of surprises!"

"They certainly took me by surprise when they announced they were together at the cabin," Tim said, looking at the group.

"Are you all okay with this?" I asked the room at large, not sure what I would do if someone said that they weren't. Gibbs must have felt my nervousness, because he squeezed my hand a little tighter, and held on. The thought occurred to me that he might've been nervous about it too, so I rubbed my thumb across his a few times to reiterate that I was there for him as well if this got messy.

No one in the room looked like they were against us being together though, and my nerves settled almost completely when Ziva smiled at our joined hands again, and looked both of us in the eyes in turn. "I am fine with it. In fact, if I find out that either of you have ever hurt the other, I will match the pain in the most, shall we say, creative way possible." I turned and flashed a smile at Gibbs, which was returned.

"Thanks, Zee." I inclined my head a little as we shared a look of understanding.

I looked at Ducky to see him making heavy eye contact with Gibbs. I flashed Tim and Abby a look to see if they could make out what was happening there. Abby was looking at Ducky expectantly, and Tim gave me a nervous glance before returning his gaze to Ducky. I felt Gibbs' hand tighten even more around my fingers, and though it hurt, I didn't do anything other than caress his thumb with mine again. He wasn't alone, no matter what the outcome here was.

"You know that I care dearly for you both, and as such, I want you both to be as happy as possible. If being together can give you that, then it is marvelous that you've opened yourselves up to one another. My only concerns are with how quickly this has evolved, and the circumstances with which it was revealed."

Ducky's logic stung. They were my concerns as well when I was honest with myself. My feelings weren't new, and they had been tested, yet remained. Gibbs, however, had just realized what was there, and though he ran with it once he found it, I wondered how long it would be until he shut down, and realized it was only something that made sense during a difficult time.

Gibbs' fingers lightened, and I felt my stomach drop has his grasp on my hand loosened. A moment later, his thick fingers were entwining with mine, going from clasped joined hands, to folded together hands. I felt the air rush back into my lungs.

"You don't have to worry, Duck. As Tony pointed out the other day, this has been in the making for ten years. I may not have realized what it was when it all began, but now that I've gotten my head out of the sand, I gotta say, I feel like an idiot for not seeing what this was years ago. The only sudden part of this, was the damn light bulb going on above my head. It took the events of this past week to remind me that it's okay to let someone in, and when I did…"

I'd been watching Gibbs' face as he explained our situation, and the way his cheeks were turning just the slightest shade of pink had me mesmerized. His voice trailed off, and his eyes locked onto mine. We stared at one another for a long moment until the affectionate sound from Abby stirred us, bringing us back to reality. I looked over at Abby to see her hand over her heart as she sighed happily. Tim wrapped his arms around her from behind, and they stared at us with smiles as big as the moon.

"In that case," Ducky continued. "I should like to echo Ziva's sentiment. If either of you fail to see this through without giving it the full shot it deserves, you will have to answer to me, and if I can't talk some bloody sense into you, I'll turn you over to the lovely Ms. David, who will use her "_creative"_ tactics to make sure it sinks in." Ziva bowed her head slightly at Ducky as she played with her necklace.

"I'm sure we're going to get our heads stuck up our asses from time to time, Duck. We aren't perfect."

"But, we have both already agreed to do our best to get past those storms." I added, then looked at the group. "I know that I rely on all of you for advice from time to time. I know that's not always going to be fair to do when it involves our boss, so if I _don't_ come to you, and you think I need advice, and are willing to give it, come to me. I don't want to put you in the middle of anything, and I can tell you right now, that is going to make me afraid to ask for help sometimes." I knew that I would probably go to Ducky with most everything, because he wasn't between Gibbs and I like the rest of the team was. I even wondered if maybe talking to Palmer from time to time to blow off steam might help, because he was about to get married, and with Gibbs and I moving in together, it might as well be marriage, right?

Gibbs' phone rang, and he rolled his eyes as he opened it without looking. "Gibbs."

We all waited in silence to see if we were being handed a case.

"We're having a team meeting in Abby's lab, Leon." I smirked at Gibbs, and watched the rest of the group shake their heads and smirk from the corner of my eye. Gibbs snapped his phone shut, and squeezed my hand before letting go. "I'm needed in MTAC. Time to work people. We've got two weeks' worth of reports to catch up on. Get to them."

With that, he left the room. I watched him go, then turned to the group. "Are you really okay with this?" I asked them quietly.

Ducky looked around at the group, watching everyone nod, and then answered for them. "I believe that we all have been honest with our answers, Anthony. We wish you both all of the happiness life can offer, and if that's what you give one another, we'll support you in whatever ways necessary. Do me a personal favor," he said quietly. I tilted my head to the side a little as I watched his expression sadden. "Take care of him. Don't let him push you away. He's going to try, numerous times I suspect, but don't let him. I've never seen his eyes shine so brightly as they did today, and I suspect they haven't in twenty years."

I gave him a sad smile. "I know, and I will," I said softly.

Ziva stepped up next to Ducky. "He is not the only one whose happiness is obvious. You have never looked so… real. You may frequently appear to be happy, but there has always been something else happening under the surface. I do not feel that is the case right now. Your eyes shine brightly as well. It suits you."

"Thanks, Ziva. I am happy- happier than I've ever been in my entire life." Things were starting to feel a little too sappy, and without Gibbs there to suffer though the sap with me, I was taking the easy way out. "I'm going to be pretty miserable though if Gibbs finds us chatting after he told us to get to work, so I'm gonna go." I smiled my cheesiest smile, and headed out of the lab. A few minutes later, Ziva and McGee were back in the bullpen with me. I suspect they stuck around to chat amongst themselves for a moment despite the imminent threat of Gibbs' wrath.

The rest of the work day after that was surprisingly normal. For once, the mound of paperwork was a relief to bury myself in. I needed the slow day to reconcile everything that had happened to us. Going over the story made me realize just how close we had come to losing so much. I suspected that was happening to everyone, because the room was subdued for the duration, even once Gibbs' rejoined us.

By 1600, we were all having trouble concentrating. I caught McGee staring off into space with an unhappy look on his face. Part of me wanted to pelt a paper ball at him, and part of me was genuinely curious as to what he was thinking. Curiosity won- I could always wad paper later.

"What's on your big brain, McSpacey?" Ziva and Gibbs both looked up, happy to have a distraction from their reports.

"Just wondering how we've survived this long," he said despondently, and shrugging before looking back at his report.

I chanced a look at Gibbs to find him looking back.

"Each other," I said softly. I turned to Tim. "We've made is this far because of each other." Tim looked up at me, then over at Ziva, most likely thinking about his most recent intentional kidnapping. I thought of Somalia, of Tim pulling me up in a parking garage as I dangled for my life, of pulling Gibbs out of the car he was drowning in, and of Gibbs finding me in a car, with a dead Jeffrey White behind me in the backseat, ready to take one more life if need be.

I thought about those we have killed that we didn't want to, in order to keep one another safe. I thought about Ziva killing Ari, and about the night I killed Michael. I thought about McGee's shot in a dark alley- the first life he'd ever taken. I remembered finding Danny and Jen, and I'll never forget Abby's hug when they found out it wasn't me that had died in my Mustang when it blew up.

Thinking of Abby made me think of her parents, and then Shannon and Kelly. She and Gibbs had been living a yin and yang life- her losing her folks, him losing his family; her being over-bubbly to compensate, while Gibbs was ultra-stoic. Now, they were both ready to move forward. Tim grounded Abby, and I felt the life in Gibbs when just the two of us were together, that I knew had been missing for years.

I hadn't realized that Gibbs and I had been staring at each other until a paper ball smacked me in the face. I stared at Tim in astonishment. He wore a smug smile, and cocked an eyebrow at me. That's when I realized that Gibbs was laughing at us.

"Oh, I see how it is- I see where your loyalties lie. You think it's funny, huh?" I said nodding. "Okay, then! Hope the couch is comfy when you're laughing on it alone tonight!"

Gibbs froze, and Ziva exploded in an uncharacteristic burst of loud laughter. Tim was trying desperately to hold his own in, but he lost the battle, and gasps of laughter escaped as his face turned bright pink.

The expression on Gibbs' face was epic. It was unabashed, genuine surprise, his mouth hanging open slightly in amazement that I had just banished him to the couch in front of our team.

"Uh-huh. Now who's laughing?" I said, throwing the paper ball at him. He dodged it easily, and laughed.

The tension in the room was lifted, and we all went back to our reports. I looked at McGee and gave him a smile as he looked back. He was surprising me more and more every day, and I was proud of him.

An hour and a half later, we had stacked our reports on Gibbs' desk, and the probies took off. I stood in front of the desk, looking down at Gibbs as he went through his own thick folder for the last time.

"I going home alone, or you coming with me?" I asked softly.

He turned, and smiled up at me. "I drove. How are you going to leave?"

"Oh, I know my way home! I don't care if these come with us," I said tapping the stack of folders. "But I wanna get out of here. You going to be ready soon?" I smiled gently at him to show that I wasn't actually pissy.

"Yeah. I think these can wait until tomorrow. Been a long couple of weeks, so I'm sure they can wait another day." I watched the small smile dance on his lips as he took the stack of folders, and tucked them into his bottom desk drawer before locking it. I turned back to my desk, and picked up my stuff. I flipped my light off at the same time that Gibbs was turning off his, and the synchronization made me smile.

We walked silently to the car together, and as we cleared the yard, he reached over and took my hand. It felt so right. His hand was calloused, but strong and warm. I closed my eyes for a moment, and let that feeling imprint itself on me. It was perfect, and I wanted to hold that hand for the next thirty years and then some.

"Do you know if the clean-up crew has been to the house yet?" I asked him.

"They've been there, but you know what to expect." I watched as he scrunched up his nose.

"Yeah. They probably boarded up the front window, cleaned up what blood they found, and got the hell out of there." I sighed deeply.

We pulled into the drive. Gibbs turned the ignition, and we sat in silence, staring at the house. It was hard to believe that we were just here, not even a week ago, and that we weren't even together then. Now, it was our home together. I swallowed hard, thinking about how it had been intruded upon so violently.

"Is it ever going to feel safe again?" I asked Gibbs quietly. He turned and looked at me with a sad smile.

"Yeah. We handled things the other night, and we'll handle whatever else comes our way. The danger isn't in the building, it's in the situation." He gave my hand a squeeze, and then let go to get out of the car. I got out as well, and was about to get into the backseat to get my stuff, when I realized that Gibbs' spidey-sense was going off. He held up a stop hand, and I watched him watch the house for a second, scrutinizing something.

I let the door shut quietly, and reached for my gun. Gibbs did the same, and we approached the house wearily. I felt the cold chill running up my back that I got whenever going into someone's house I knew expecting the worst. I got it when we flocked to the convent looking for Abby the night McGee's stalker was hunting her down. I got it the night I was called to Gibbs' house when Ziva killed Ari. I got it the night I went to Ziva's place when Michael and I got into it. There's nothing like going up to someone's house you know, and praying that no one was hurt or dead inside. To be going up to my own home, thinking something could be wrong, was doubly unnerving.

Gibbs peeked into the windows as we went by. He shook his head, motioning that he hadn't seen anyone. I approached the door, waiting for the signal. He nodded, and I carefully reached for the doorknob, and opened the door, gun aiming into the house. Gibbs slid in before me, and I scanned the room. We both looked up the steps, and then I looked towards the kitchen, where the basement and garage doors were.

Gibbs shoved his head towards the kitchen and dining room. Looks like we'd clear the basement and garage first, then head upstairs. We stepped into the kitchen, and I felt a horrible gnawing in my stomach that something wasn't right. My heart was racing, and the blood pumped through my veins triple-time. I felt every sense heighten, and I could hear Gibbs breathing, and could smell discarded Chinese food radiating its pungent odor from the trash can. I turned my head slightly away from the stench, and that's when I smelled it- stale sweat.

I turned to see a man standing in the dining room with olive skin, chiseled face, dark, greasy hair, and a gun raised in the air. I pounced on Gibbs just as I heard the gun firing. We slammed into the wall, and collapsed onto the floor. I raised my gun, firing three shots. Gibbs and I lay on the floor, watching the man's body crumple, landing with a satisfying thud. The gun that was in the intruder's hand slid across the floor, clattering as it bounced off the leg of one of the chairs at the table.

We stared at the dead body, and the blood coming from it, for a long minute until we had no reason to believe he was still alive. "Fuck!" I groaned, rolling onto my back for a minute before sitting up. The adrenaline burst had flooded me, and now my limbs were starting to feel all rubbery. I reached out my hand to help Gibbs up, and he slipped his fingers through mine. I pulled and he got to his feet, stepping against me.

I noticed he was shaking just the slightest as he put his arms around my waist, his forehead falling against mine. I felt his breath against my face, and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. "So much for being safe in your own home," I murmured, feeling the abnormal tension in the man against me. "Sorry, Gibbs."

"I was safe," he said. "You always end up keeping me safe."

"Whether or not you want me to," I commented, thinking about how many times I'd chased his ass into the proverbial burning building. "You're never getting rid of me."

"I'm never going to try." Gibbs' lips fell against mine in a quick, yet expressive, kiss. I heard a siren somewhere off in the distance, and realized that one of the neighbors must have heard the gunshots, and called the police.

"You call Vance, and I'll call the team." Gibbs nodded, and moved to sit down on the coffee table. He looked exhausted again. I realized that we were going to have to stay at my apartment tonight, and wondered if maybe we should stay there for a while, and give it a chance for the memories to fade of everything that had happened here over the past week.

I called, and broke the news to Tim, who said he's take care of rallying everyone. I was grateful. The police were now there, and Vance was still talking Gibbs' ear off. I'd have to talk to them. I figured that was better anyway, considering what I heard taking place over the line across the room.

"No, Leon. That won't be necessary. If I had to bet, I'd say that he was the contingency plan. No, I don't want- LEON! I SAID NO! Tony and I will check on everyone else's places tonight, and make sure that there's nothing to worry about. I'll check in with you when I get back to the Yard."

I turned to the officers that stood in the living room.

"Thanks for coming so quick guys. He's gone," I said, gesturing to the body in the puddle on the floor. "It's part of an ongoing NCIS investigation. Our team is on the way."

"Had to wonder. Saw the caution tape around the house the other day. Heard Agent Gibbs had had a pretty bad run in here." The older officer looked over at Gibbs as he hung up the phone. "You okay there, Gibbs?"

"Yeah, thanks Bill. We've got teams on the way. Shouldn't be too long." Gibbs got to his feet, and looked around. He didn't seem to know what he wanted to do. I saw him eye the coffee pot, but there was no way that would pass crime scene procedures.

"Go get some stuff together, Gibbs. You won't be staying here tonight." I stared him down as the automatic urge to rebel against any command was activated. His eyes softened, and he nodded, then moved past us all to go upstairs. I replayed the past few minutes in my head. Something wasn't right. That's when I realized he had just said teams. Plural. "I'll be right back, guys."

I headed up the steps tentatively, not able to trust anything at this point. I still felt on high alert, while at the same time, exhausted from the adrenaline drain. I stepped into what would eventually be our bedroom, and looked at Gibbs as he sat on the bed, staring at the floor. I closed the door behind me, and moved to sit next to him. "What are you thinking, Jethro?" I asked quietly.

"That Vance is right- I'm too close to this one. He's turning over the scene to Balboa's team. I don't want any of you getting hurt because of this. When they get here, we're going to go to Abby's apartment, Palmer's place, Ducky's house, and Tim and Ziva are going to go check out their places, and stop by Breena's. We'll make sure nothing has been tampered with, and that no surprises are waiting for them."

I nodded slowly. That was going to make for a long evening, and I knew it was necessary. At this point though, I just wanted to take care of Gibbs. He wasn't himself again. He was more like he had been at the cabin, everything weighing heavily on his shoulders. I couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't being said, so I prodded.

"What _else_ are you thinking?" I reached over, and took his hand, looking at the way his fingers automatically interlaced with mine, then looked up into his eyes.

"Just wondering how long it's going to take to feel comfortable in here again. I'd…" he sighed heavily, and his eyes closed as he swallowed hard. "When I lost the girls, it was too hard to be here. I would try, sometimes even leave work early, or stop by at lunch, just to come back here, breathe deep and smell them. Other nights, I couldn't stand it, and I would get up, throw a bag together and go stay in a hotel, or sleep in my truck. Not the same truck I have now, but…" I could feel less and less of my fingers, because the longer he talked, the tighter he squeezed.

"Gibbs." His face snapped up to mine, strangely lost. "Let's stay at the apartment for a week or so. That will give us time to get things together here… fixed and cleaned. We can pack my place up, spend some time getting our heads on straight, and then in a week or two, we can move my stuff in, and we'll create memories of our own to wipe out the memories of this past week. What do ya say?"

He inhaled deeply, and closed his eyes, nodding. "I think I might have to replace the flooring in the dining room." His eyes opened again, and he looked at me with an intense seriousness that had me worried. "If you're going to update the kitchen, we should probably look into that now. If I'm going to have to take the flooring up, or if you're going to want to tile or varnish in there, we should probably stay at your place. The fumes for some of that stuff won't be good for your lungs."

I smiled, and chuckled once, shaking my head. "I guess we'll need to go to a couple of hardware stores this weekend then." That brightened his expression considerably. He even smiled a teeeensy bit. Wasn't quite a smirk, but there was something tugging a little at the corners of his mouth, and that made _me_ smile, and lean in to kiss him.

"We should probably get packed. There's going to be a lot to do tonight, and there's still tomorrow to get through before the weekend."

I hated that voice of reason. Despite the dead body, and crowd of people filtering into the house below us, I wanted to him to throw me down on his bed right then, and release some of that tension on me. He must've read the disappointed look on my face, because he leaned in and whispered in my ear, "Soon." I felt the chill run down my spine, and this time, he really did smirk as he stood up, and headed towards his closet to start packing.

Five weeks later, we were sitting in Vance's office. It wasn't the most comfortable moment of my life, but I figured it could be going much worse. It had taken us over four weeks to do all of the repairs we wanted to on the house, and that was with working on it daily, and all weekend long. The new appliances finally arrived, and slipped fairly easily into the layout of the new cabinets. Despite smashing both my thumb and middle finger on my left hand, on two separate occasions, I had learned to use not only a hammer, but a drill as well, and I am now a master craftsman with a screwdriver.

The big decision had come the following week after all of my things were moved in, and we had spent the weekend unpacking. We had talked about changing Gibbs' medical proxy to officially state that I am allowed to make decisions for him. He had been mine for so long already, and it made sense. Then the question that we'd both been avoiding had to be breached: Do we change my address?

There really was no way not to, and we spent a good amount of time considering our best plan of action. In the end, we filed our paperwork quietly, and then set off to talk to Vance. If we were going to do this, we had to tell him before the word got out.

We had talked about all of the possible outcomes, and we were fully prepared in case the worst of the repercussions were thrown at us. Now, here we were, sitting in chairs across from Vance as he sat behind his desk, eyes wider than usual, one eyebrow cocked so high that I was surprised it wasn't lost in his hairline.

"You mean to tell me that the two of you are in a serious, committed relationship to one another? And that you're moving in together?" We both nodded. "Just how long has this been going on?"

"How long have we been acting on it?" I asked, letting him know that the answer was a little more complicated than handing him a date.

"I suppose," he said, looking at me askew.

I looked at Gibbs for confirmation. He didn't say much, which is what we agreed upon. We didn't want to show any superiority bias, and by Gibbs letting me do all of the talking, it might help show that there was no coercion taking place.

"During the Tarim case," I answered.

Vance sat back in his chair, looking as confused as could be.

"Director, if I may. We've been talking about what to do about it. Neither of us want to hide our relationship, because frankly, it's the best thing in our lives, and we're not ashamed of what we are to one another. We understand the complications with our positions. We're trying to be honest about this, because we both love what we do, and we don't want to jeopardize that, so we're coming to you so that you can tell us what to do. Our team knows, and they are nothing but supportive of us. I have no aspirations of moving up the chain of command until Gibbs retires, so I can't see favoritism ever being called into play. I can promise you that he isn't taking things lighter on me at work. I'm pretty sure I have a concussion from the headslap he gave me this morning. If anything, he's picking on my reports more than usual. What I'm saying is, we don't want things to change at work, but if one of us needs to switch departments, or something along those lines, we're prepared and willing to do so."

Vance looked at me like I had three heads, then looked at Gibbs, discerning how much he agreed with. "I had always suspected you moved fast, Gibbs, but a month together, and you're willing to step down if need be?"

"We've been in a relationship for a month, but we've been together a lot longer. This is probably the _slowest_ I've ever taken it when you think of it the way we do. Took over ten years for me to realize what's right in front of me. We're not saying we're going to go without a fight, but we're asking what our options are." Gibbs' voice remained calm and restrained in a way that I'd learned meant he was annoyed years ago. There were the most subtle nuances about it, like his hands were forcibly relaxed in a way that when you watched them for long enough, you'd learn is unnatural. Then, there was the set of his glare. To the unfamiliar eye, all of Gibbs' glares looked the same- cold, threatening and made you want to piss yourself, but I knew them apart by now, and there was just enough scrunch to the lines in his forehead by his nose, versus the scrunch around his eyes when he's trying to understand something. This one definitely had more nose/forehead scrunch than eye scrunch- he was annoyed.

Gibbs' phone rang, and startled Vance and I.

"Gibbs." There was a little more bite to his voice than the person at the other end of the line probably deserved, but a moment later I couldn't care less. Gibbs took his little notebook out of his jacket, and wrote down an address. He snapped his phone shut. "We'll have to pick this up later. Dead sailor in Silver Springs." Gibbs got to his feet, and I was right behind him.

"Agent DiNozzo will be with you in a minute. Go ahead," Vance said, his fingertips tapping one another in thought. Gibbs looked from Vance to me and back. He nodded, and rushed out of the room. Vance waited until the door clicked shut.

"Agent DiNozzo, you know that I have to ask if there has been any undue influence here."

I tried. I did. I tried _really_ hard not to laugh in the Director's face, the director of a military organization, albeit civilian ran, but I failed. I laughed. Actually, it was probably more of a guffaw. Or a bark. Nonetheless, I did laugh outright at the man's question. It took a moment to compose myself, too. I was waiting for him to show me some sign that he understood my amusement, but when he looked more affronted than I felt at the assumption that I would bend that far over backwards for _anyone_, even Gibbs, I reigned it in. Once I could breathe, I found that I had more of an edge to my voice than intended, but I felt defensive.

"Sir, with, uh, _all due respect_, you damned well know better. My eyes opened to what this is years ago. I never thought I'd get to see the day where I'd have the chance to choose him over the job. I'd do it in a heartbeat, though. I love him- it's that simple. Whether you move me to another team, force him to retire, or can us both, I'm still happier than I've ever been in my entire life. And not to sound conceited, but he's happier than he's been since he lost his wife and daughter, twenty years ago. So, do what you have to- we'll survive- happily."

I watched as the understanding came over his face that this was serious. I also knew that he wasn't sure what to do about it. I waited for him to say or do something, anything, while we stared one another down. At first, I thought he was reading me to see if I was being completely honest, but that wasn't quite it. It was more like he was searching me to see if he could trust me. It made me look at him through the same lens.

"I don't know where to go from here, Agent DiNozzo. I need to look into some things. For now, go back to your team. They'll need you. In the meantime, think over which option the two of you would prefer. I'd much rather you come to me with what you choose, rather than forcing things one way or another."

I continued to stare him down. "Like Jethro said, Director, we're not going to lay down and surrender something that means so much to both of us. If you want us separated, that's your call."

"I hope you know what you're doing, because it's a call I'm going to have to make." I thought I caught a glimpse of regret in his eyes for a moment.

"Let's hope that whatever call you make, it's the right one for everybody involved." I nodded at him slightly. "I've got to go." I turned around to leave the room, feeling uncertain about where I stood with my job, but one thing was for certain- my future was safe with Gibbs.


End file.
